Call the taxi company and tell them you absolutely must get to the airport.
Knock on neighbors' doors and ask if they have change for a quarter.
Call for pizza delivery.
Make a complaint that the newspaper hasn't been delivered yet.
and
Call applicants to your alma mater at 8:30AM to set up an interview. Act irritated when the teenager is not available to come to the phone at that moment. Speak in a Eurolilt. Play classical music in the background LOUD. Leave a message with only your title and last name, like Dr. Somebody, because you're too important and/or secretly insecure to leave a first name.
Okay, so that last one actually happened. Is it okay to base your judgement of a college choice based on whether or not you like the person who interviews you or, in this case, your kid? I now officially don't want my kid to go to this school, even if it's an prestigious Ivy league school that rhymes with Shmarvard. I've known nice people at or from that school. But I guess if your goal is to alienate as many potential applicants as possible, this is a good way to go.
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