More ruminations on death

Something very like an email I'm about to send.

Dear _________,

It was nice seeing you at ___________'s birthday party. It's always nice to catch up and I look forward to meeting up with you in the Adirondacks.

I'm writing you now because I want to enjoy myself when we meet up, but at least part of the time that I'm with you now, I think about death. Not your death, mine. I don't think about death a lot, but for obvious reasons it pops into my head when I see you.

I need to get my act together and get a cemetery plot, and since you're president of __________ Cemetery and I don't know anyone else in the business, I figured I'd check in with you before I did anything else.

So how do you do this? Is it like making a reservation at a restaurant? Plot for 2 please, at 11:30AM on April 23, 2042. Or maybe later. Is it like that? Or do I go to the place and look for a nice spot?

I'm always aware when I'm at a particularly pretty gravesite that I'll be choosing the location in a kind of peculiar manner. Even though I'm the user of the product, the product is not for me- it's for everyone aside from me who happens to be there. My own satisfaction is pretty much guaranteed no matter what. There aren't a lot of things you can sell like that, are there? As a marketing person, that's intriguing.

So I want to be in the Jewish section for the usual reasons. I know there is one because your sign says so, but I've never been there. I've never been to the grave of anyone I know in Pennsylvania- I've been to cemeteries, but for parents of friends, not anyone I've ever met. I guess I ride my bike through them from time to time as well.

Anyway, I want something for me and my wife, but is there any way to give my kids the option of worming their way (so to speak) in there as well? Do you have to purchase a larger site than you need just in case or can you have something more optional? How about a sublet? Can you lease it to someone with the understanding that they may be moved to a less desirable spot at a later date? I'd give them a good discount. Are there laws about this kind of thing? I don't know what kinds of laws there are about dead people.

I'm way off track here. Can we set up a time to talk and have a walkthrough? I might as well walk it while I still can, right?

I look forward to speaking with you. Best to ____________.

Frank