Back for my 10th (!) year

I'm guessing that it's not just me and that other teachers walk into the first day of class in a (hopefully) well-concealed, (hopefully) mild panic. What it I forgot how do do this over the summer? What if I forget my name? What if they don't like me? What if they smell bad? What if my shirt is on backwards?

The biggest difference between teaching and a desk job is that at a desk job you can get though a day or even a few days without contributing anything. If you show up in a classroom with nothing to say, you're in major doo-doo. Teaching is a performance of sorts. You can't have stage fright and you have to be present. If you're not 100% there with the students I guarantee you that they will spot it. They'll ask you a question and your answer won't be on point or your lesson will be confused and disjointed. And you'll have damaged the class.

The good news is that being prepared and present is exhilarating, at least for me. It feels good. I feel connected and relevant. I may not like everything about working in a school but I sure do like being in the classroom. I've never had stage fright, and I'm the proper combination of smart and dumb that allows me a sufficient level of confidence to get through most things. And I seem to have lost my ability to get embarrassed, no matter how stupid a thing I do. I think that dates back to my geometry class in maybe 2006 when the kids would often laugh when I tripped over the overhead projector cord or bumped into something, and they eventually let on to me that they often discussed how many minutes into the class it would be before I did something clumsy. They may have even been taking bets on it.

The first day is always hard, though. I typically (and this year is typical) know very few of the students, though I'll know at least the names of some students that I don't really know as people. I'm always surprised by how fast I learn to match up the faces and names. I'm horrible about that in the rest of my life. I can barely remember my neighbors' names. But even if you know their names you don't know how they learn or what they're like as people. It always makes me nervous.

But again, it's exhilarating. I can't think of any other job where I'd get to meet 30 or 40 new people every year and then get to spend part of almost every day with them for 9 months. Since what I fear most in getting older is that I'll get stale, having new people to bounce ideas off keeps my perspective fresh.

The other lurking fear, of course, is what happens if I really screw things up. Like forget to go to class. Well guess what, I did! On the very first day I misread the schedule. Fortunately, I was at my desk and a student came to get me. But way to get off on the right foot, eh?

So now here I sit, grading summer assignments, which is perhaps my least favorite thing to do, but as I look at each one I know a little more about each student, so it's not a complete drag. And next week it's time to really start teaching. I can hardly wait.