Science

What is it about holiday shopping that makes people insane? Is it just that the words Christmas and Crazy come from the same Latin root? By the middle of December I want to be a shut-in, because I can't go anywhere or do anything without somebody driving crazily or walking too quickly and not noticing that they're pushing. It seems like the speed:attention ratio is just off. My current operating theory is that this temporary unhinged behavior is caused by incessant Christmas music. I call it ICM Syndrome, and its symptoms include vacant stares, anxiousness, and incessant humming.

Although there have been lots of sociological (and therefore meaningless) studies on holiday behavior, there hasn't been a lot of rigorous research done on the physiological effects. What I've read proves only that there is a moderate but noticeable shift of brain activity from the cerebral cortex and its logical thinking to the amygdalae, otherwise known as the "lizard brain" once people have been exposed to "Winter Wonderland" or "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer" 10 or more times within a 4 day period. Over time, this can lead to enlargement of those lobes, possibly crowding out the logical thought centers. An extended study is needed to see if the damage is reversible. 

This would be bad enough if I hadn't had the Hallelujah Chorus stuck in my head for the last week. I need a vacation.