Getting the Boot

Long before Punk'd, there was a show called Candid Camera that was on TV for close to 20 years. The would lure people into odd situations and capture how they'd react (one of my favorites, they removed the engine from a car and rolled it down a hill where there was a repair shop at the bottom. The young female driver gets out and tells the mechanic that her car stalled and now won't start. He opens the hood and sees there's no engine and is amusing perplexed). I remember seeing one episode where they gave a bunch of honor students what they called a career suitability survey and then met with them individually. The student would sit at a desk across from the counselor, who would say very seriously that their carrer survey pointed very strongly toward a career as, for example, a manual laborer, dishwasher, or shepherd. The students were of course appalled.

In this spirit, I approach tonight's Class of 2013 College Kick-Off night at an area independent school. This is somewhere between exciting and terrifying for most of the people here, especially those who have a first kid going through this.

I come to this as both a second-timer and someone with fairly strong opinions along the lines of the college process being almost comically overblown. I say almost, because the stress level that goes along with the college process is anything but comical. It's difficult and occasionally heartbreaking. And of course, like most of the stuff that's wrong with life these days, it's the fault of us baby boomer parents. That being said, the kids are very invested in it and we as parents, having created this monster in the first place, must now feed the beast.

The college counselors at this school seem pretty high powered and knowledgeable. They are very earnest. They talk about how you should try to make it fun. As one of them said, "Enjoy the journey to find where your kids will spend the next 4 years," (unsaid: "before they move back home again").

The whole part about standardized testing makes me cringe. The whole process has become perverted, IMHO, though I'm at a loss to see what an alternative would be.

An interesting factoid is the huge increase in the number of applications at every college. I'm guessing this is because of a synergistic combination of boomer parent pushiness and improved technology. Since many boomers either want nothing but the best for their kids, are living vicariously through their kids, or both, they will do nothing to limit the search. The combination between the development of the Common Application, the ability to apply to a virtually limitless universe entirely online, and free access to a credit card leads to a rising number of applications per person.

Another interesting factoid is how much colleges pay the College Board for each student's name to send them mailers. What would you guess? It's 30 cents. As the counselor said, "So you know you have value."