Thanks for that

Taking a break from the Cliff Lee extravaganza at the ballpark yesterday, I strolled by Guest Services, which for most people is where you go if you need some Advil or an ice pack, but for partial season ticket holders like myself, it's where we go to get our bonus prize for paying for our tickets in full early. Since I had lots of money in my Phillies account left over from their not going to the World Series last year, I was able to do that and so got a letter telling me to bring the letter in to get an exclusive Phillies aluminum water bottle, pictured so:

It came with but a single instruction, on a sticker on on the box, which read, PLEASE REMOVE PAPER INSERT FROM THE BOTTLE BEFORE USE.

Pretty obvious advice, don't you think, and curious that they would feel the need to include it. Then I opened the bottle and found that the piece of paper was about 3 inches square. This would be no problem except for one minor detail. Look at the size of the bottle top:

Note that it's about big enough to get exactly one finger inside, defeating our primate-specific advantage of opposable thumbs. It took me a good 5 minutes to get the stupid thing out with my pinkie, and all that it said was "We hope you enjoy this BPA-free aluminum bottle." Some reason that piece of paper couldn't go inside the box and yet outside of the bottle itself? Hmmm?

So I realized that they probably put that warning on the outside to discourage people who got frustrated trying to get the paper out and thought about just leaving it in from doing so. I guess there is a certain logic to it.