Wall to wall
Euphemisms are fun in general, and I've always enjoyed those for artificial hair. Hair piece is the most obvious and least interesting Toupee, from the French for "top" has jaunty, kind of Eurotrash feel to it. Wig is just kind of a funny word and has the fun association "wigged out," which I'm not sure if it comes from the kind of wig you wear on your head, but it's still a good and useful description of someone who's unhinged. But my favorite is rug. That evokes some terrific mental images. I saw a guy today who could have been the inspiration for that one. It really looked like he was wearing a rug made out of human hair on top of his head. I always wonder if someone wearing something like that thinks they're fooling anyone...
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Monday, May 26, 2008
It's Not Their Fault, It's Our Fault
It's one thing for the kid to come downstairs at 10:15 as you're about to watch a DVD and tell you that she's forgotten that she needs to bring a sword (okay, a pretend sword) into school tomorrow and could it be 2 feet long and painted silver. It's another thing entirely to say "yes." Not to mention going online to find a picture of the appropriate kind of sword. And we wonder why out kids feel entitled.
It's one thing for the kid to come downstairs at 10:15 as you're about to watch a DVD and tell you that she's forgotten that she needs to bring a sword (okay, a pretend sword) into school tomorrow and could it be 2 feet long and painted silver. It's another thing entirely to say "yes." Not to mention going online to find a picture of the appropriate kind of sword. And we wonder why out kids feel entitled.
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Supermarket stuff
I walk around a supermarket and my marketing sixth sense takes over. "Why is this here?" "Who buys this stuff?" or simply "Huh?" Today I was in the bread aisle, and let me say that I find the whole concept of a bread aisle mystifying. Why we need six different brands of soft whole wheat bread and over 40 kinds of bread in all (and this does not include the bakery section of the store where there's another couple of dozen) is beyond me. That's a lot of water, flour and yeast.
Anyway, today I was drawn to a brand of soft whole wheat bread called "Hearth Farms." I've always like the "hearth" thing on bread. "Hearth-baked." Yeah, well a hearth is an oven and I'm not sure where you'd be baking that bread if not in an oven. Not quite as good as "fresh-picked." Of course it was fresh when it was picked, but I'm interested in what it's like NOW. Anyway, companies like to put "hearth" and "farm" on their labels, because they have a good wholesome feel about them. But what in the world is a hearth farm? Is it a pastoral field full of ovens? And it sounds like there's more than one. I need to find out.
I walk around a supermarket and my marketing sixth sense takes over. "Why is this here?" "Who buys this stuff?" or simply "Huh?" Today I was in the bread aisle, and let me say that I find the whole concept of a bread aisle mystifying. Why we need six different brands of soft whole wheat bread and over 40 kinds of bread in all (and this does not include the bakery section of the store where there's another couple of dozen) is beyond me. That's a lot of water, flour and yeast.
Anyway, today I was drawn to a brand of soft whole wheat bread called "Hearth Farms." I've always like the "hearth" thing on bread. "Hearth-baked." Yeah, well a hearth is an oven and I'm not sure where you'd be baking that bread if not in an oven. Not quite as good as "fresh-picked." Of course it was fresh when it was picked, but I'm interested in what it's like NOW. Anyway, companies like to put "hearth" and "farm" on their labels, because they have a good wholesome feel about them. But what in the world is a hearth farm? Is it a pastoral field full of ovens? And it sounds like there's more than one. I need to find out.
Looking for Fun
The trick for staying happy, it seems to me, is to not let life get in the way of having a good time. It's not always that easy, when things are busy or stressful or downright unpleasant, to remember that the fun is still there. All that might have changed is your ability to recognize and participate in it.
In that regard, I was given a hand today by a bunch of students who dedicated this year's school yearbook to me. I don't feel like I go out of my way to seek approval, but I put a lot of effort into making every class I teach special in some way, and to make a real connection with my students, whatever the hell that means. There are times when that's easy and and times that it's extremely difficult. With this particular group it was never difficult and it's nice to know the feeling is mutual.
The trick for staying happy, it seems to me, is to not let life get in the way of having a good time. It's not always that easy, when things are busy or stressful or downright unpleasant, to remember that the fun is still there. All that might have changed is your ability to recognize and participate in it.
In that regard, I was given a hand today by a bunch of students who dedicated this year's school yearbook to me. I don't feel like I go out of my way to seek approval, but I put a lot of effort into making every class I teach special in some way, and to make a real connection with my students, whatever the hell that means. There are times when that's easy and and times that it's extremely difficult. With this particular group it was never difficult and it's nice to know the feeling is mutual.
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Movies
I've seen 2 movies in the last week. On Mother's Day, we all went to see "Young at Heart," a documentary about a senior citizen's chorus from Massachusetts whose repertoire includes such old favorites as "Should I Stay of Should I Go" and "I Wanna Be Sedated." Very funny at times, but sad at times too, and though the old people and the guy who runs the chorus are great, the narrator is kind of irritating. I'd still recommend it though.
On Saturday, we saw Iron Man, which was just a blast. I've always liked Robert Downey Jr., and he's really in his element in this. The suit and the technology are to die for. At one point when he's working on a impressive and very cool-looking computer system, Ronnie nudges me and whispers "My birthday is in 2 1/2 months." The action scenes are great and don't go on forever so you never get overloaded and it's very funny. I felt like I was dragging Ronnie because it's an action-adventure kind of thing, but she enjoyed it to.
I've seen 2 movies in the last week. On Mother's Day, we all went to see "Young at Heart," a documentary about a senior citizen's chorus from Massachusetts whose repertoire includes such old favorites as "Should I Stay of Should I Go" and "I Wanna Be Sedated." Very funny at times, but sad at times too, and though the old people and the guy who runs the chorus are great, the narrator is kind of irritating. I'd still recommend it though.
On Saturday, we saw Iron Man, which was just a blast. I've always liked Robert Downey Jr., and he's really in his element in this. The suit and the technology are to die for. At one point when he's working on a impressive and very cool-looking computer system, Ronnie nudges me and whispers "My birthday is in 2 1/2 months." The action scenes are great and don't go on forever so you never get overloaded and it's very funny. I felt like I was dragging Ronnie because it's an action-adventure kind of thing, but she enjoyed it to.
Friday, May 16, 2008
Father's Day is Coming!!!!
I got my first "get this for father's day" e-mail ad today. It was for coffee, which actually isn't a bad idea. At least I drink coffee, even occasionally the coffee from the company that sent me the e-mail. It's better than the whole aftershave/golf/car/toolbox thing. I barely shave, don't golf, don't care about my car as long as it runs and don't have a toolbox or a single power tool. Of course, this means that most of the ads on TV programs targeted to men (i.e., sports) are useless for me.
The whole mother's day/father's day thing is ridiculous to start with, though it does give a nice boost to the greeting card companies, who invented them as "holidays." The only upside is that you always get to answer the question "Why isn't there a children's day?" with "Because EVERY day is children's day."
I got my first "get this for father's day" e-mail ad today. It was for coffee, which actually isn't a bad idea. At least I drink coffee, even occasionally the coffee from the company that sent me the e-mail. It's better than the whole aftershave/golf/car/toolbox thing. I barely shave, don't golf, don't care about my car as long as it runs and don't have a toolbox or a single power tool. Of course, this means that most of the ads on TV programs targeted to men (i.e., sports) are useless for me.
The whole mother's day/father's day thing is ridiculous to start with, though it does give a nice boost to the greeting card companies, who invented them as "holidays." The only upside is that you always get to answer the question "Why isn't there a children's day?" with "Because EVERY day is children's day."
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Free Verse
Opening up City hall
Enthusiasts find rewards in their backyard orchids
Bakelite jewelry and rare Warhols
If it's worth doing it's worth doing right
Hurt arm doesn't get in way of his feet
Harassment needs to be addressed
Banish the blues with color
Life is "crazy crazy wonderful"
Get everything in writing
Headlines from the Home and Design Section
Friday, May 09, 2008
Don't put all your eggs...
I'm occasionally surprised by the kind of everyday math facts that people don't know. Most people (though not all) do know that there are 12 in a dozen. Not too many things are bought by the dozen: donuts, bagels (but they give you 13 usually), and of course, eggs.
I have a nice paper carton in my refrigerator with a dozen eggs in it. This drives me crazy, because I also have an egg holder in the refrigerator with exactly one egg in it. Why do I have both? Because the egg holder has exactly a dozen spaces in it. I'll give the designers of the refrigerator a break and presume that they didn't do this with the intent of irritating me, but the other alternative is that they designed the thing without thinking about how it would be used.
This is a common fault in product design, where the emphasis is on features rather than benefits. The first is about the product. The second is about the person using the product. In this case, some guy thought, "Okay, you get eggs by the dozen, so we'll put a dozen spaces in the egg holder." That's a feature. Thinking about it as a benefit you would think, "People use this to store eggs. People buy eggs by the dozen and they probably buy a new dozen before they're completely out of them so I'll put 16 spaces in the egg holder."
Not so hard, but clearly harder than it looks.
I'm occasionally surprised by the kind of everyday math facts that people don't know. Most people (though not all) do know that there are 12 in a dozen. Not too many things are bought by the dozen: donuts, bagels (but they give you 13 usually), and of course, eggs.
I have a nice paper carton in my refrigerator with a dozen eggs in it. This drives me crazy, because I also have an egg holder in the refrigerator with exactly one egg in it. Why do I have both? Because the egg holder has exactly a dozen spaces in it. I'll give the designers of the refrigerator a break and presume that they didn't do this with the intent of irritating me, but the other alternative is that they designed the thing without thinking about how it would be used.
This is a common fault in product design, where the emphasis is on features rather than benefits. The first is about the product. The second is about the person using the product. In this case, some guy thought, "Okay, you get eggs by the dozen, so we'll put a dozen spaces in the egg holder." That's a feature. Thinking about it as a benefit you would think, "People use this to store eggs. People buy eggs by the dozen and they probably buy a new dozen before they're completely out of them so I'll put 16 spaces in the egg holder."
Not so hard, but clearly harder than it looks.
Wednesday, May 07, 2008
Political Spew
I had a kind of disturbing political conversation today, so I need to vent a little.
The person I was talking to said that they were concerned about Obama winning because they had Jewish friends who normally voted Democratic but would vote for McCain if Obama were elected, because they didn't think Obama would support Israel. For these people I have one calm, well-reasoned question. Have you lost your minds?
By what calculation do you think Obama wouldn't support Israel? Because he's a closet Muslim? Because his Christian preacher made some controversial remarks? Do you really think that the president of the largest democracy in the world would turn its back on its closest (maybe only) democratic ally in the middle east? By going down this road you are buying into the right-wing propaganda and their framing of the issue. You're saying that the current approach is the only one that will work. Is this true? Just look at all the wonders Bush has done for peace in the middle east. Let's have more of that, yeah! Do you really truly think that a hard line attitude is going to keep Iran in check? I can't believe that smart people can actually believe this nonsense.
And of course by voting for McCain you're buying the entire right wing package in the process. Want some more radical anti-choice judges? Pollution? Rich made richer at the expense of the middle class and poor? Accelerated global warning? Uninvestigated corruption? Increased spying on US citizens? Endless preemptive wars? The same stuff we've been getting for the last 8 years? Yay! Go for it!
All I can hope is that people who say this kind of stuff come to their senses when the actual choice is presented to them. For the moment it makes me ill.
I had a kind of disturbing political conversation today, so I need to vent a little.
The person I was talking to said that they were concerned about Obama winning because they had Jewish friends who normally voted Democratic but would vote for McCain if Obama were elected, because they didn't think Obama would support Israel. For these people I have one calm, well-reasoned question. Have you lost your minds?
By what calculation do you think Obama wouldn't support Israel? Because he's a closet Muslim? Because his Christian preacher made some controversial remarks? Do you really think that the president of the largest democracy in the world would turn its back on its closest (maybe only) democratic ally in the middle east? By going down this road you are buying into the right-wing propaganda and their framing of the issue. You're saying that the current approach is the only one that will work. Is this true? Just look at all the wonders Bush has done for peace in the middle east. Let's have more of that, yeah! Do you really truly think that a hard line attitude is going to keep Iran in check? I can't believe that smart people can actually believe this nonsense.
And of course by voting for McCain you're buying the entire right wing package in the process. Want some more radical anti-choice judges? Pollution? Rich made richer at the expense of the middle class and poor? Accelerated global warning? Uninvestigated corruption? Increased spying on US citizens? Endless preemptive wars? The same stuff we've been getting for the last 8 years? Yay! Go for it!
All I can hope is that people who say this kind of stuff come to their senses when the actual choice is presented to them. For the moment it makes me ill.
Tuesday, May 06, 2008
Izzard
"Flies and locusts I understand, but frogs? Frogs are not a plague. They're just too many frogs."
"Why does 'Thou shall not covet thy neighbor's ox' make it into the top 10 laws of the world? What's wrong with that? You see that ox over there? I'm not going to kill it. I'm not going to steal it. I just really, really want it."
"Flies and locusts I understand, but frogs? Frogs are not a plague. They're just too many frogs."
"Why does 'Thou shall not covet thy neighbor's ox' make it into the top 10 laws of the world? What's wrong with that? You see that ox over there? I'm not going to kill it. I'm not going to steal it. I just really, really want it."
Monday, May 05, 2008
Yankee Stadium
I was at the Yankee game yesterday and I have a few observations.
1. Yankee Stadium is a shrine and they should never even dream of tearing it down.
2. Yankee Stadium is a dump and the sooner they demolish it, the better.
3. You can buy a beer that costs $12.50 at Yankee Stadium.
4. They really ought to have somebody there selling sunscreen. The weather was much sunnier than predicted and I got toasted.
5. Apparently, it's not important that you be able to walk all the way around the stadium at the end of the game. It's preferable to have a fence in the middle so that if you try to walk from the first base side to the third base side you find yourself crushed into a dead end.
6. New Yorkers can whine about almost anything.
7. You can move away from New York for 20 years and still remember how to work your way through a crowd around the stadium and in the subway.
I was at the Yankee game yesterday and I have a few observations.
1. Yankee Stadium is a shrine and they should never even dream of tearing it down.
2. Yankee Stadium is a dump and the sooner they demolish it, the better.
3. You can buy a beer that costs $12.50 at Yankee Stadium.
4. They really ought to have somebody there selling sunscreen. The weather was much sunnier than predicted and I got toasted.
5. Apparently, it's not important that you be able to walk all the way around the stadium at the end of the game. It's preferable to have a fence in the middle so that if you try to walk from the first base side to the third base side you find yourself crushed into a dead end.
6. New Yorkers can whine about almost anything.
7. You can move away from New York for 20 years and still remember how to work your way through a crowd around the stadium and in the subway.
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