Another morning. More evidence that I exist.

Fell asleep watching TV last night- Colbert with Jerry Seinfeld, who did a really funny bit about donut holes (as only Seinfeld can do) and I don't remember anything after that, so you get an idea of how exhausted I must have been. Glad I'd showered earlier.

Today Ronnie will have a close friend visiting for much of the day, so I can get a real break. I've been itching to walk out onto the bridge, so maybe today. It's very cold out, or so I hear- the one really good thing they have at the cafeteria is coffee, so I haven't been out yet (I brought cereal to eat for breakfast). I'll have to decide of that's a good or bad thing. Really I just want it to be clear so I get full advantage of the view.

I also want to walk down by the river. That's down a lot of steps, which I'm presuming are clear of snow by now. It's quite beautiful down there- we're a couple of hundred feet up from the river and you have to cross the Henry Hudson Parkway to get there but it's worth it.

I know I've mentioned before how nice it is that they've been letting me stay in the ICU, but as it turns out, my presence is occasionally completely necessary. There are many specialists who come in (physical therapists, x-ray, EKG and echo technicians, etc.) who have no idea what's going on overall and are therefore operating (so to speak) with incomplete information. When the patient is full of pain-killers and their consciousness and memory is compromised, how are they supposed to deal with this?

Or say there's an emergency somewhere and all the nurses have to scurry to help. That happened yesterday and again today. How can someone who's barely awake supposed to make sure they get their medications on a timely basis? I've already reminded nurses to give medications and averted a redundant procedure.

Believe me, I'm not blaming anyone; you have to deal with the acute problems immediately. That's what the ICU nurses have to do. I'm just thinking how impossible it would be for someone who doesn't have full command of their facilities to ensure that they're getting what they need. Or know if one of the near-constant alarms is meaningful when they can't turn around and look at the monitor.

I'm not sure how I know to do this. Probably from watching my dad when my mom was on one of her frequent visits to the ICU. But it feels natural somehow. I just feel bad for the people who don't have it.