In which I use a great many words to say I like the people I was chaperoning with

I’ve now been on 5 senior trips and they were all different. Two went to a place called Split Rock Resort in a town called Lake Harmony in the Poconos (though I don't believe there actually is such a town). It’s a pleasantly run down and well equipped four season resort. It’s not my favorite kind of place because it’s in the middle of nowhere and a mile walk just to get out of the resort. I always like to know where I am, which means walking or riding around to get a feel for the area. Obviously this works best in urban areas and less well in rural ones. The other thing is that the rooms at Split Rock are suites, so I end up sharing living area with other people. This has ranged from really good to very unpleasant (yeah, got both in only 2 trips), depending on the other chaperones and staff.

The other three have been to Ocean City, MD, which I personally prefer, because it’s an actual place with actual stuff, not made-up resort things. True, much of the actual stuff is touristy crap, but I still like it better and people know what you’re talking about when you tell them where you went. Otherwise you end up having to explain something that neither you nor they really care about. Too much effort for making idle conversation. The hotel is similarly pleasant yet run down, and I get my own room. Sure, it’s a room that lacks any decor whatsoever, a view of outdoors (it looks out onto a large atrium) and fresh air, but my own room nonetheless.

It’s also possible that I like OC better because I’ve been at least nominally the lead chaperone on all of those trips and neither of the Split Rock trips. This year was more of a group effort than a single lead, which was different but okay. It was also a much smaller group. I’m used to 50-ish students and this one was 27. And 3 chaperones instead of 4 or 5. I’ve been on trips where all or some of the chaperones disliked each other and ones where everyone got along famously.

From my perspective, this one was definitely in the latter group. I can’t speak for how the others felt; they’re generally polite people. But one of the things I enjoy about these things is the chance to spend concentrated time with my colleagues, because I’m lucky enough to work someplace with people I like and respect. So as much as it’s about the kids, sometimes the adult interaction feels equally important and gratifying.

That’s a lot of what I’ll remember about this trip, because even though I’ve had never had anything but positive interaction with my co’s (the seniors like to abbreviate things, and this one can mean co-chaperones), I really didn’t know them very well. There were other things that gave me some trepidation, but thinking back it’s always that way unless we've done trips together before. For someone lacking good instincts for social interaction (okay, maybe completely lacking is more accurate), this kind of close contact is terrifying, but it’s a terror I’m familiar with.

At my current stage of life, I don’t go through a lot of insecurity and fear that people won’t like me. I’m pretty self-confident and, to be honest, I’ve not found it helpful to worry about what people think of me. But my tendency to view every moment as a blank slate can make things unsettling when I’m outside my comfort zone, as concentrated time with people you don’t know very well can be. And although my instinct in these times is to disengage rather then jump into it, I’m fully aware that many of my best experiences have happened outside my comfort zone. So I approached the whole experience with the co's with what you might call optimistic terror.

Whew! That was exhausting. I’m not trying to be confessional, but it’s dumb to take the time to write about this if I don’t bother expressing my feelings about it. It’s my blog, and skipping the important stuff would make it pointless.

And enough meta. Here’s what I know. You can’t really understand someone until you’ve played mini golf with them. Maybe it doesn’t have to be exactly mini golf, but dumb as that sounds, a game is a far more personal experience than anything that can happen in the hallways at work. You also can’t understand someone unless you see them first thing in the morning, late that same evening, and in easy situations and tricky ones, because sometimes it’s hard to know the difference. You can learn about someone’s openness, sensitivity, intelligence and dedication. Which is a lot of important stuff in getting a sense for a person.

So part of what I take away is an appreciate for how great these people are, given that that’s not a given, (is that even close to being correct grammatically?). I got to see it for myself. It made the whole experience more fulfilling and more fun.