Getting out of town

Now I’m annoyed because I didn’t take a picture of my knees at Madison Square Garden. I’m now on an airplane and am pleased to report that there is noticeably more legroom in a US Airways coach seat than there is in Section 117, Row 16, but have no way of presenting photographic evidence.

We’re on our way to a Bat Mitzvah in Scottsdale, AZ. I’ve spent way more time in Phoenix in the past few years than would have been my preference, but Scottsdale isn’t one of the more objectionable areas, and I’m hopeful that the Scottsdale Resort and Conference Center will prove to be more posh than the Best Western Tempe by the Mall (yes, that’s its actual name).

That we’re on our way is a minor surprise, given the recent weather, but it was bright and shiny this morning, our driveway had been plowed, with no lack of sound effects, at 4 AM, and the only issue facing the flight were the hundreds of hopeful standby’s waiting to snap up any empty seats.

The biggest news on the flight was a short line of small print on my boarding pass, revealing that I had TSA-Precheck status, which allows me and my traveling party to avoid the security line and go though an old-fashioned metal detector with, gasp, my shoes on. I didn’t even need to take out my computer or completely empty every used tissue from my pockets (not that I usually have lots of used tissues in my pockets, but you know what I mean). This is the first time I’ve seen that on my boarding pass, and I guess it’s not like the government is going to send you a registered letter congratulating you, but it was surprising.

The flight itself was typical of what happens after weather events, as they say, in that they load all the passengers with reserved seats, then they look at their seat map and start putting standby’s in the unused seats. This takes a few minutes, after which they cease to trust the seat map and send someone to count the number of people on the plane and look for empty seats.

By this time, people are desperately looking for someplace to put their carryon bags. On a full flight, overhead room is at a premium, the bins fill before the seats, and the people going back beyond their seats to find space create a backwash that stymies the boarding process.  As is the custom these days, I brought food on the plane with me, as well as coffee, which creates an eventual need to rid myself of said items. I employed the international sign for “Can you take this away please?” to no avail, and had to hang onto it wall until an hour and a half into the flight.

The woman sitting next to us on the flight was busy writing on the one of the liquidproof sealable sacks discreetly tucked into the seat pocket. I looked over at her and she said "Writing a bridesmaid speech." I said, "That seems an appropriate to do it that way." It also gave me the opportunity to ask a question I can say with absolute certainty that I've never asked for that being "Are you done with your speech or would you like another barf bag?"