First of all, I'm sitting on a plane and I've managed to plug my computer in without needing any kind of adapter. How did I do this? I always remember the maxim for finding power in airports, "Think like a cleaning person." Airplanes need to be vacuumed. They don't plug vacuums into little power adapters. They plug them into 3-prong outlets the way God intended things to be plugged. That means there has to be one of those bad boys somewhere on the plane and I found one near my seat. Combine that with the preparedness to bring that most underrated of travel accessories, the compact power strip, and I'm charging my phone as well.
Even my time at the airport was in no way unpleasant. I asked the ID check woman in security if they rotated jobs at the checkpoint and she rolled her eyes, smiled and said, "Oh yeah, thank goodness. I couldn't just sit here all day." The guy at Chick-Fil-A messed up my order, but apologized profusely and immediately fixed it and gave me my food for half price without my even saying anything. The gate agent had to bring an old woman onto the plane in a wheelchair and could not have been more gentle and pleasant with her. She was actually smiling as he wheeled her down the ramp (maybe that's because she can walk- I saw her- and probably didn't even need the wheelchair, but why not if you're old). The flight attendant is absolutely charming and helpful, completely realistic in describing the food options and prompt in bringing me beer that I was unable to obtain at the airport bar. Another sees my phone, says she has the same phone and asks me if I know how to transfer music from her computer to the phone. She also brings me beer.
Some random guy on the boarding line started talking to me for no reason but turned out to be good-humored and interesting and is reading David Sedaris, which automatically marks him as okay in my book. He tells me that in Orlando the longest part of the boarding process is the so-called pre-boarding, a meaningless term if ever I've heard one, because almost everyone getting on the plane is in a wheelchair or has small kids.
It's not like there aren't annoyances. The bar had not a single seat and the waiting area was so crowded that I had to sit in a seat reserved for handicapped people, cowering and fearing that someone would give me a ticket like they do if you park in a handicapped space. But overall, it's like anything else. If you're inclined to find things unpleasant, there's plenty to complain about, but if you really pay attention to everything going on around you there's no need.
Along the corridor, and thank goodness that the Philadelphia Airport has kept their concourses narrow and intimate, not wide and spacious so you might miss things, there's a bunch of these little booth kinds of shops, like they put in the middle of a shopping mall. There's Rosetta Stone, the language learning system. I've never heard anyone say anything bad about the system, but they advertise relentlessly and never, ever say anything about how much it costs, which leads me to assume that it's hellishly expensive. They must sell some of these things, because the stand has been there for years, but I've never seen a single person even stop and look.
There's the Magic Color-Changing Markers stand, with a guy with lots and lots of personality drawing things and making them change colors. He's all but pleading with the passersby to gather and watch him work, but only other airport employees stop to chat. Who are they trying to sell these things to? It's 5PM on a weekday and almost everyone is wearing suits. Are they targeting overly busy parents who feel guilty and feel the need to bring their kids something when they come home from a business trip? I was pretty direct about this when I was a kid. My father traveled a lot when I was young and would bring me coins and sometimes bills from various countries he'd visited, so after a while the first thing I'd say to him when he came in was "Did you bring me any money?" He found this funny for reasons I did not understand at the time.
There's a stand selling Murano glass jewelry. I've been to Murano, which is near Venice, Italy, and I'm sure the traditional old-world craftspeople who work there would be glad to see their creations sold in such a venue. There's also a lot of snacky food- pretzels, popcorn and candy. I notice that the newsstand sells gum. For years you couldn't buy gum at Philadelphia airport because they feared having to scrape used gum off the floor and furniture. The fact that people sometimes need to chew gum while they fly to avoid being in intense pain never figured into the discussion. Because of course airports exist for the benefit of the people who run the airport. It wasn't until a particularly enlightened fellow took charge of the airport that there was any recognition that this was unbelievably stupid and the policy was changed.
In the men's room, there is no sink that has both a working faucet and soap dispenser, so I end up standing there with some guy laughing as we our arms over each other's to get at the soap and water.
The crew on this flight is great. Whoever makes the announcements from the cockpit really enjoys updating us on where we are. Landmarks he's pointed out that I've never heard mentioned before include Toledo, Ohio, Ft. Wayne, Indiana (a place I have actually been, twice), Des Moines, Iowa, and Nebraska. Not a particular thing about Nebraska, just Nebraska. Been there too.
One of the best things I ever did when I was younger is drive cross-county as many times as I could. I've been in all 50 states, including all of those the East Coast snobs call "flyover" states (as in, they're only there to fly over). I like this part of the country. If you're from the East Coast, the people are almost shockingly nice and life seems simpler, if not easier. I remember waking up in a Walmart parking lot in Hays, Kansas (Walmart cultivates a following of RV owner who spend nights in their parking lots and buy their groceries there). I woke up and turned on the radio in the car. I usually listen to public radio when I'm in places like Kansas because it's the only sure way to avoid country music. Instead of a traffic report, they had a farming report that I unfortunately can't remember, and as part of local news they had the crime report, which consisted of 3 cases of drunk driving and one case of the window on someone's car being broken, though nothing was stolen.
And let's not forget how miraculous the whole idea of air travel is. For most of human history, escaping gravity was an unattainable dream. I sometimes go off about how I was born at the perfect time, because so many things that everyone takes for granted were invented during my lifetime. The latest one I remembered was plastic. Plastic had existed in labs in the for a few years when I was born, but almost nobody had ever really seen anything made out of what we now call plastic. Airplanes were not one of those things that were invented during my lifetime. They were invented, if you can call it that because hundreds of people all over the world were working on perfecting powered flight, right at the beginning of the 20th century (really fascinating story, by the way). What was invented during my lifetime was flying priced for the so-called common man. You watch old movies and you can see that flight was something exclusive, something you dressed up for. Prices were regulated by the federal government and were invariably high, too much for most people to afford. But in the 1980s, Ronald Reagan, who did almost as much damage to the country as did Shrub (to quote Molly Ivins, may she rest in peace), deregulated air travel and it still costs less to fly to popular destinations now than it did 40 years ago. Of course, airplanes are the new buses, but I'm not sure that's a bad thing.
We've now reached the point of this five-plus hour flight where I have to consider that I will eventually arrive and get off this plane, and as a result have switched from beer to water, since I'm landing soon in California and I have to drive. So what's been good about this experience? Almost everything. I've been moved from Philadelphia to Sacramento in a matter of a few hours with no problems.
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