Because I never lie, and I'm always right

This post will probably disappoint those who are looking here for humor today. The Jewish new year is designed to be a time of reflection, to evaluate your life and see if you measure up. I've made it pretty easy for myself in that I have a pretty simple life philosophy: Treat everyone the way I'd want to be treated, and leave every situation I encounter better than I found it. As a math teacher, one could argue that the second part should be "better or equal to," or, not worse, since there are many things you can't even affect, much less improve, but I'd prefer to shoot high.

So how did I do? Not sure I can live up to the title (which was, I believe an election slogan on a Firesign Theater album). I still have another couple of hours in shul to work on it, but I think on the macro scale I did well on the first one. On a more moment to moment basis, do I ever get testy with people? Of course I do. I can't promise to never get testy. All I can strive for is to lengthen my fuse, and I think that's something any of us can work on. But I can say with absolute certainty that I did not at any time hold grudges or do anything with the intent of hurting anyone physically or emotionally, and I tried within my own limits to treat everyone with compassion and generosity, whether I felt like they deserved it or not (that being the hard part).

The second part is less focused on intent and more on results, making it a bit stickier both to do and to judge. Was I always a generous with my time and money as I could be? Definitely more so on the latter than the former. I guard my time closely and don't like being imposed on (and in turn try to seldom impose on others). But I feel good about the fact that last school year, at the very end when I was totally exhausted and drained (long story), I still not only gave every bit of my free time in school to helping students who asked, but gave them empathy as well.

On the other hand, more than any other year in recent memory I had to depend on others for help and support. There's a part of me that feels that to be a bit of a defeat, because I prize being self-sufficient, but why should I not give other people the chance to feel good about helping someone? That's what makes this whole thing so darned complicated. I always want to be the helper, not the helpee (?), but by being too self-sufficient I deprive others of something that I myself take great pleasure in, helping people. So is it a good thing or a bad thing? Not sure there's an answer to that question.

So how does it add up? Not really up to me to judge.