Suburban Guy Skills

As any fan of Napoleon Dynamite knows, girls only want boyfriends with skills, and the same goes with husbands and fathers. I've certainly acquired a few in my lifetime.

I can put up a pot of water to boil on the stove, walk out of the room and do something else, and return just as the water starts to boil.

I can reheat 4 separate meals of leftover/takeout food and have them all ready at the same time and feed the dog while they're heating.

I can kill bugs by snatching them out of midair.

I know what my dog wants just by looking at her.

I know what my daughter wants just by looking at her.

I have changed diapers and am therefore not afraid to get anything on my hands.

I know what every remote control in the house goes with and how it works and I know what every cable and cord lying around is for.

I know the cheapest and/or best place to get anything within 10 miles of here.

and most importantly for a man living in a house full of females

I know when to keep my mouth shut.