Memories of Airport Lounges Past

We're sitting in the US Airways lounge, trying not to hear the TV blaring on about Mark Sanford. The lounge in Philly is at the top of a very long escalator and offers a superb view of both the roof of the floor below and the huge number of planes in line waiting to take off. Our plane's supposed to board in an hour or so, but, curiously for a place where people are waiting for scheduled things, there are no clocks to be found.

This lounge is similar to others we've encountered in that the goal of the seating array is to ensure that you do not fall asleep. There are hundreds of upholstered chairs, all with arms and low backs and totally devoid of lumbar support. The only place you could conceivably lie down is on the window sill, but you'd probably want to bring an air mattress.

We were trying to remember the last time we were in a place like this where we wanted to sleep and were completely thwarted by the interior design. We stayed in a lot of weird lounges in China, some of the very nice and some of them almost unbearable, but I think the one we're thinking of was in Japan, where we had to wait for hours when our flight home got cancelled and the plane we were shifted to was 5 hours later than out original flight.

I have found that the last few times I've packed for trips that I do it almost completely absently, as in with a total absence of thought. It's not something I seek to do, but I seem to be unable to focus on the task at hand. I rarely forget anything important, but it's still a bit disconcerting to know that I've not been able to make any connection to what we're going to be doing for the next 3 weeks and all the stuff I lay out on the bed to go in the suitcase. It's just all my regular stuff. Am I going to need something in Italy that I don't need at home? I guess we'll find out soon.

You're Only As Old As You Feel

Or maybe you only feel as old as you are. Of something like that.

When I see old people now, I can't help but think, that's me in 20 years. And I try to think of what kind of old man I want to be. My father is and his father was the gruff sort of old man. My father is big and intimidating looking, so it works for him. For me, I go back and forth between wanting to be a wise old man, like a sage or a guru, and an ornery old codger who yells at kids if they walk on his lawn. They both have their attractions. Ornery is easier, but people are nicer to the wise old guy type.

The one kind of old guy I don't want to be is the kind I just saw, wearing a t-shirt that says "Don't smoke near me. I have gas."

Do you think they did a focus group?

Check out the new name of the merger of Gazprom, the Russian oil company, and the Nigerian government-owned oil company.

What I know about Italy

I'm going to Italy. I don't really know much about it. My job in planning our trips is logistics. I take care of plane flights, hotels, car rentals, etc. If my wife tells me to get a tour or tickets for something I do that too. I'm pretty good at this, though it does always leave me with a constant nagging sensation that I forgot to take care of something.

Beyond logistics, I don't do a lot of guidebook reading, so I have to get my information from other sources. The first conclusion I reached is that Italy is inherently silly. I don't mean this in a bad way. I know it's important for countries to take themselves seriously and all, but that doesn't mean I have to.

Why do I think this? Let's start with the language. It's like Spanish but with even more flourishes and changes in pitch. I haven't learned much but I'm thoroughly enjoying trying. Any language where the phrase " Would you like to drink?" is "vorrebe bere?" is definitely fun to speak. Try saying it fast. Next, I got a confirmation code for a tour. Now I'm sure this place has a lot of tours (it's the Vatican), but does it need to be 2KAITU5119XTF1TZR ? Is that all really necessary?

The other thing I know about Italy I also learned from the languge disk. They way this disk teaches you numbers is a guy asking a woman to have a drink with him and he asks her all these different times to do it and she keeps refusing. We get all the way up to 9 this way before she finally tells him that she really doesn't want to ahve a drink with him. I bet they don't teach Japanese this way.

Nothing like it

Some of you have heard me say it before, but it is impossible for people born after 1980 or so to have any idea of how big a star Michael Jackson was at his peak. There is no star of his magnitude now, and there were few even before. Elvis Presley is the closest parallel I can think of.

Jackson revolutionized music, revitalizing a R&B as a category and was the first to really use music videos to project his artistic vision. He also all helped create hip hop as a dance style at a time when it is was mostly nothing more than break dancing. And if you've ever seen the style known as popping or locking, if you're my age you saw it for the first time in Jackson's videos and live performances. Take the time to watch the Thriller video. Then watch So You Think You Can Dance or any music video with dancing and it's impossible to miss his influence.

Granted, the guy was seriously screwed up, but he had a terribly abusive father, a devout Jehovah's Witness mother, and the life of a pop star from when he was a little kid. That would screw most people up. The fact that his life turned into a side show is a shame, but it doesn't diminish his accomplishments.

One question: Does he ever actually pronounce the word "thriller" at any point in the song?

Concert

I'll write more about it tomorrow, but the concert was good. Jack's Mannequin is the better band, I think, but I liked The Fray too.

I ran into some kids I know from school. I might have seemed cooler to them had I not been in the middle of buying t-shirts for my 14 year-old and her friend, but it was still nice to see them.

Boy to girl ratio not as severe as at justin timberlake

Little strappy white tank top with big padded bra sticking out. Does this make sense?

Twitter

My feed is @justfrankt

Haven't started with it yet, but probably tonight.

Into the fray

I'm going to the The Fray concert (is that the right way to say it?) Will try to do a bit of liveblogging, but it may have to be from my regular old cellphone, which would make it more like tweets.

Phollow-up

Longtime readers may remember my antipathy toward people or organizations purposely misspelling words that should be spelled with an F with a Ph instead. I think I closed it with a 5-letter version of what is normally a 4-letter word beginning with f.

It is therefore with decidedly mixed feelings that I report to you now that I attended and actually enjoyed the 2009 Phillies Phestival, in spite of their mailing beginning, "Dear Phillies Phan." My daughter and I went to this in part because it looked like it would be fun and in part because it's a fundraiser for ALS research, ALS being the disease that has made my mother paralyzed and unable to even communicate.

Our trip to the Phestival (argh!) didn't go perfectly. I bought by tickets 90 minutes after they went on sale, which closed me out of a couple of photo ops. I forgot my wallet, which is unheard of, we got there on the late side, too late to sign up to get the most desirable autographs, and we didn't bring anything to get autographed. Fortunately, my daughter had her ATM card so we were able to get some money, and the rest proved bearable.

The setup is pretty simple. There are autograph stations spread around the concourse and other things to do (silent auction, moonbounce, etc.) here and there and a few photo ops to be had.

Our own activities weren't that interesting. We got some autographs and some pictures, including a photo in the dugout with Charlie Manuel, which is on my Facebook page and is priceless. That included a facsimile World Series lineup card with what I thought was a printed signature but which turned out to be the real thing. Nice touch.

This leads me to point out was how incredibly engaged and gracious everyone was. If you watch this particular Phillies team, you get the sense that they're pretty decent people, and that was borne out by their behavior at the event. I have to give the biggest shout-out to Cole Hamels, who was at his autograph station half an hour before every other player and was incredibly gracious to everyone for well over 2 hours without a break (and his hair looks great even in real life). The other player who seemed to go above and beyond was Chase Utley, who worked the crowd on his way to his booth and had a wonderful manner with everyone. All of the players we dealt with were very pleasant and conversational and wiling to sign shirts, bats, balls, whatever. The only player who seemed halfhearted about it was Jayson Werth, who wore sunglasses inside and seemed to cool to really participate. Oh well.

Once we were there, there was no excess Ph stuff going on, and overall my indignation was soothed, I was really impressed with the whole thing and I will definitely attend next year.

How can I embarrass my daughter?

Let me count the ways. Here's a phone conversation that mortified her. Note- this is me talking on the phone to someone she never has and probably never will meet and all she's doing is sitting eating breakfast a few feet away from me.

Keep in mind that I believe that people treat each other better when there's actually some human interplay and not just generic exchange of information, in this case trying to get a prescription refill. I find this especially true dealing with people who answer phones all day, which I have done and did not enjoy. If you're curious, this is how I talk to people pretty much all the time. Keep in mind that beyond this part of the conversation, my goal is to have the doctor actually pick up the phone and call me back later.

Doctor's Receptionist: What is the number of the pharmacy?

FT: What a clever question. I should have known you were going to ask me that.

DR: There are are a lot of them...

FT: OK, it's...no, wait, that's the dog's prescription

DR: Well, you never know, it might make you feel better.

FT: I'm sure it would tighten up my loose bladder

DR: (laughs)Maybe you should give me the other one

and so on.

So did I help or hurt my chances of a return phone call?

And in the world of sports...

Is the NBA done yet? I know hockey's done. How about golf? Is golf ever done? Something big is happening in tennis and I'm certain it concerns Roger Federerer and/or Rafael Nadal. Soccer? Other teams are beating the US team. Did you know there's a professional softball team in Philadelphia? Well, sort of. They play in Allentown. It's too hot to run, but people are riding bikes from one place to another and people are driving cars absolutely nowhere.

OK. Back to baseball.

Nothing Funny Here

I really don't like being scolded. And more than that I despise and detest being pre-scolded, or scolded for something that hasn't even happened yet. As someone whose life philosophy is based on giving people the benefit of the doubt, I find it insulting. So what's the difference between pre-scolding and being given a stern warning? Not much. It's context, really, plus pre-scolding assumes the worst of people, and I just can't abide that.

Oedipus Multiplex

We had a kid over at our house tonight who has 4 moms.

Wobbly

You remember what toddlers are like then they're tired? They wobble around semi-randomly, bumpt into things, topple over at times and either cry or giggle. That's what everyone at school is like now, students and teachers both. It's kind of comical much of the time and it's a part of the year that I enjoy because there's a sense of common purpose in finishing and finishing well.

The Field Day Post

We had what is called Middle School Field Day this week, where the kids are split into teams and compete in a bunch of relay races. My job was to help supervie the obstacle course. This mostly entailed making sure that the kids who were supposed to put their forehead down on the end of a bat and then run around it three times, actually performed the task properly. This is challenging and exacting work, much more difficult than, say, seeing if they had jumped rope 10 times. I had to make sure their heads were actually on the bat. I had to make sure the other end of the bat was on the floor. And I had to make sure that they ran around the bat not 1, not 2, not 2 1/2, but three full times. And I was ruthless about it. No middle schooler underrotated on my watch. I didn't realize until I'd started back to my office afterwards that I was almost as dizzy as the kids.

Jiggy

Why do radio programmers assume that people want to listen to Irish music on weekend mornings. Isn't the fact that they don't listen to it at any other time kind of a clue?

Moms and Proms?

I am eternally resentful that Mother's Day gets to stand on its own while Father's Day is always part of "Dads and Grads." The power of rhyming must be greater than I supposed.