Allen: That's quite a lovely Jackson Pollock, isn't it?The last line, of course, uttered after the subtlest of pauses. Brilliant.
Woman: Yes, it is.
Allen: What does it say to you?
Woman: It restates the negativeness of the universe. The hideous lonely emptiness of existence. Nothingness. The predicament of man forced to live in a barren, godless eternity like a tiny flame flickering in an immense void with nothing but waste, horror, and degradation, forming a useless, bleak straitjacket in a black, absurd cosmos.
Allen: What are you doing Saturday night?
Woman: Committing suicide.
Allen: What about Friday night?
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Woody Allen
For some reason, this little interchange from Take The Money and Run popped into my head.
Sunday, April 22, 2012
This is why it's good to get the newspaper
I usually just toss the Metropolitan section of the Sunday Times but this jumped out at me
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/04/22/nyregion/the-secret-life-of-alan-z-feuer.html
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/04/22/nyregion/the-secret-life-of-alan-z-feuer.html
Saturday, April 21, 2012
Car talk
I'm having an embarrassing problem with the car I've been driving. No, it doesn't make rude noises or insult passersby (though one of my high school friends once got a traffic ticket for turning his windshield washers to the side and squirting pedestrians). The problem is embarrassing because it just could not be more of a first world problem. You ready? If I plug my iPhone into the integrated touchscreen system to access my music, the touchscreen doesn't work very well at all.
I know, how can I possibly get through the day? This is even worse than my cappuccino machine making foam that's not quite thick enough I just made that up, my cappuccino machine is fine). What's even more embarrassing is that I've had the car for over 2 years, and not only had I never noticed that the system didn't work, I didn't even know it existed. So you can see how essential it is.
In essence, the problem is embarrassing only because it's so minuscule and unimportant that I feel like an idiot even complaining about it. On the other hand, I paid for this thing, so I did nothing until I needed an oil change and then I told the dealer about this problem, almost as an afterthought. And the good news is that it turns out that all the cars made with this system have the same problem, so they will fix it free. It requires replacing a computer module and the USB port. The bad news is that the parts needed to be ordered.
A few days later I got a postcard saying parts had been delivered so I made an appointment. I sat in the waiting room for a couple of hours and then the service guy came in and took me into the shop. He showed me what was happening and I told him it was exactly the same as it's been. He said the service bulletin said to replace 2 pieces and that only one had been delivered. So would I mind coming back?
Now mind you that I had now already spent 3 hours on something that is much much closer to not existing than to being an actual problem. But now I was curious so I said okay (though I have to admit I was dubious about that part fixing it).
Another post card arrives trumpeting the arrival of the part, I make another appointment and sit in the waiting room for another 2 hours, noticing that my car had come in gone from its shop bay rather quickly. Finally they tell me that the part didn't change it, and that they'd spent the last hour on the phone with the central office service manager who apparently was trying to convince them that working poorly was either what these things were supposed to do or that there was nothing to do about it. To his credit (though of course this is based on his own telling of the story), the service tech refused to accept that answer, so now we wait for the mythical traveling service supervisor, Elijah I think his name is, or was it Godot?
So now 6 hours on the non-problem. We're getting pretty close to the horizontal asymptote if we're graphing improvement in my life versus time.
I know, how can I possibly get through the day? This is even worse than my cappuccino machine making foam that's not quite thick enough I just made that up, my cappuccino machine is fine). What's even more embarrassing is that I've had the car for over 2 years, and not only had I never noticed that the system didn't work, I didn't even know it existed. So you can see how essential it is.
In essence, the problem is embarrassing only because it's so minuscule and unimportant that I feel like an idiot even complaining about it. On the other hand, I paid for this thing, so I did nothing until I needed an oil change and then I told the dealer about this problem, almost as an afterthought. And the good news is that it turns out that all the cars made with this system have the same problem, so they will fix it free. It requires replacing a computer module and the USB port. The bad news is that the parts needed to be ordered.
A few days later I got a postcard saying parts had been delivered so I made an appointment. I sat in the waiting room for a couple of hours and then the service guy came in and took me into the shop. He showed me what was happening and I told him it was exactly the same as it's been. He said the service bulletin said to replace 2 pieces and that only one had been delivered. So would I mind coming back?
Now mind you that I had now already spent 3 hours on something that is much much closer to not existing than to being an actual problem. But now I was curious so I said okay (though I have to admit I was dubious about that part fixing it).
Another post card arrives trumpeting the arrival of the part, I make another appointment and sit in the waiting room for another 2 hours, noticing that my car had come in gone from its shop bay rather quickly. Finally they tell me that the part didn't change it, and that they'd spent the last hour on the phone with the central office service manager who apparently was trying to convince them that working poorly was either what these things were supposed to do or that there was nothing to do about it. To his credit (though of course this is based on his own telling of the story), the service tech refused to accept that answer, so now we wait for the mythical traveling service supervisor, Elijah I think his name is, or was it Godot?
So now 6 hours on the non-problem. We're getting pretty close to the horizontal asymptote if we're graphing improvement in my life versus time.
Booting
I started reading an article in Rolling Stone about hazing at Dartmouth fraternities and there was a line in it about the ability of perfectly nice, normal people to do horrible things to each other. The article is very graphic and I'm guessing the most frequently occurring word in it is "vomit," but it's worth a read if you have a strong stomach.
The point, though, is what human beings are willing to subject each other to in certain circumstances. There's a well known psychology study called the Milgram Experiment, where subjects thought they were the experimenters, and were asked to administer electric shocks to an actor posing as a subject of the fake experiment. There were not actually any shocks and they could only hear but not see their supposed subject, who seemed to emit what were pre-recorded shrieks. The actual subjects, given direction by the person in charge, believed they were giving shocks of increasing voltage (up to 450 volts, 4 times what's in a regular electrical outlet), causing increasing pain, and yet continued to do so because that was what they were "supposed to do."
The experiment is very interesting and as authoritative as social science experiments get, and it was key in promoting ethics in psychology. It didn't do much for the real world, however, except to expose what most of us already knew was the case, that people can be cruel given proper encouragement.
Casual cruelty is all too common in modern America, whether it's finding comedy when someone is kicked in the groin in movies or in easy sarcasm. As a teacher, I find it interesting that students, who may be genuinely nice people, say insulting things to their peers in class that they would never dream of saying to the same person one-on-one, and probably wouldn't even say behind someone's back.
What is going on that group dynamics encourage this kind of behavior? Why is it acceptable to behave in this manner? The only thing I can come up with is the overwhelming need of people to feel good about themselves, regardless of the collateral damage. It's not unusual for insecure adolescents to insult others to uplift themselves. The frat boys at Dartmouth want to feel like membership in their group is so desirable that pledges will endure torture to join. And I guess on some level they are right, because people do go through the hazing and come out the other end to treat new pledges in the same fashion. (Full disclosure: I was in a fraternity in college and we used to brainstorm ideas and joke about hazing, but we never actually did anything).
I'm all in favor of feeling good, and I'm a subscriber to the belief that almost all human behavior is self-centered, but I don't think this is okay and more importantly I don't think it bodes well. I'll pick this up in another context in a subsequent post.
The point, though, is what human beings are willing to subject each other to in certain circumstances. There's a well known psychology study called the Milgram Experiment, where subjects thought they were the experimenters, and were asked to administer electric shocks to an actor posing as a subject of the fake experiment. There were not actually any shocks and they could only hear but not see their supposed subject, who seemed to emit what were pre-recorded shrieks. The actual subjects, given direction by the person in charge, believed they were giving shocks of increasing voltage (up to 450 volts, 4 times what's in a regular electrical outlet), causing increasing pain, and yet continued to do so because that was what they were "supposed to do."
The experiment is very interesting and as authoritative as social science experiments get, and it was key in promoting ethics in psychology. It didn't do much for the real world, however, except to expose what most of us already knew was the case, that people can be cruel given proper encouragement.
Casual cruelty is all too common in modern America, whether it's finding comedy when someone is kicked in the groin in movies or in easy sarcasm. As a teacher, I find it interesting that students, who may be genuinely nice people, say insulting things to their peers in class that they would never dream of saying to the same person one-on-one, and probably wouldn't even say behind someone's back.
What is going on that group dynamics encourage this kind of behavior? Why is it acceptable to behave in this manner? The only thing I can come up with is the overwhelming need of people to feel good about themselves, regardless of the collateral damage. It's not unusual for insecure adolescents to insult others to uplift themselves. The frat boys at Dartmouth want to feel like membership in their group is so desirable that pledges will endure torture to join. And I guess on some level they are right, because people do go through the hazing and come out the other end to treat new pledges in the same fashion. (Full disclosure: I was in a fraternity in college and we used to brainstorm ideas and joke about hazing, but we never actually did anything).
I'm all in favor of feeling good, and I'm a subscriber to the belief that almost all human behavior is self-centered, but I don't think this is okay and more importantly I don't think it bodes well. I'll pick this up in another context in a subsequent post.
Sunday, April 15, 2012
Mind the shreddy bits
I recently acquired a scanner and a shredder. This is very nice because, like most people, I love feeding paper into things. Clearly, however, it is important to distinguish the two machines from each other. For example, if I want to both scan and shred something, it's important for me to remember in which order to do these things, because scanning first works much better.
The shredder is the size of a waste basket and sits on the floor. The scanner is the size of a hoagie and sits on my desk. It's not hard to distinguish between them, and one is much more dangerous than the other; in fact it comes with 8 pages of safety instructions, while the other comes with none. However, it's the scanner that rates the safety guide, while there's nothing but a few bold-faced warnings and a half page of bullet pointed cautions in the shredder instructions.
The scanner's safety brochure starts off with a key to the warning labels, one of which, indicates that if you don't follow this particular instruction it may result in "severe injury or death." These sorts of things contain an admonition to stop using the scanner if smoke, heat, or an abnormal noise or smell is coming from the scanner. Getting foreign objects (water, small metal objects, etc.) can also cause injury or death, although I don't really think water is an object. Then at the end of the list "Other problems which indicate a scanner failure are detected" (note that this phrase is grammatically correct although it appears otherwise, the 'are' doesn't refer to the scanner failure, which is an 'is'). I don't know about you but I find this to be overly broad warning. If the paper won't feed into the scanner it may indicate a problem that could result in severe injury or death? Maybe I shouldn't have bought this thing.
Also, the scanner has a little warning label on it, the warning for which reads, this warning label can become very hot. To avoid burns, do not touch this label. Many of the safety warnings regard the use of electricity, something many of us have apparently never done before. Most of these end with "can cause electric shock or fire" and they include handling the scanner with wet hands, leaving it "in a car under scorching heat," using it "while covered with a blanket'," letting your hair, tie or jewelry get caught in it, or using it while driving a car (which I'm pretty sure belongs in the 'severe injury or death' section). There's also the usual stuff about not putting it on the edge of the table because it might fall on you, but I think my favorite one is" When handling documents, be careful not to cut your finger with them." This is always good advice, which applies not only to documents but things like knives, swords, numchuks and chain saws.
The shredder may not require the same detail of instruction because its dangers are perhaps more obvious. Anything they say here, aside from the standard warnings not to put it under water or catch it on fire somehow, have to do with trying to not shred some part of your body. Mostly this means unplugging it before you touch the shreddy bits. My favorite, which is the only repeated instruction, pertains to its awesome CD shredding function. I don't really care for Rihanna, for example, and if I see a CD of hers lying around I might wish to shred it, but, as the instructions note, if I do so I must not hold the CD with finger through the center ring while feeding into the shredder. This is wonderful phrasing, which makes it easy to imagine the consequences of not following that instruction without having to explain them in graphic detail. Many Hollywood directors could learn from this principle. Why one would be shredding even awful CDs like Rihanna's is beyond me however.
I've now had these things for a week, and aside from getting a paper cut (damn, they warned me about that!) I'm still alive and unharmed. I'll let you know if anything more interesting happens or if I decide to shred any CDs.
The shredder is the size of a waste basket and sits on the floor. The scanner is the size of a hoagie and sits on my desk. It's not hard to distinguish between them, and one is much more dangerous than the other; in fact it comes with 8 pages of safety instructions, while the other comes with none. However, it's the scanner that rates the safety guide, while there's nothing but a few bold-faced warnings and a half page of bullet pointed cautions in the shredder instructions.
The scanner's safety brochure starts off with a key to the warning labels, one of which, indicates that if you don't follow this particular instruction it may result in "severe injury or death." These sorts of things contain an admonition to stop using the scanner if smoke, heat, or an abnormal noise or smell is coming from the scanner. Getting foreign objects (water, small metal objects, etc.) can also cause injury or death, although I don't really think water is an object. Then at the end of the list "Other problems which indicate a scanner failure are detected" (note that this phrase is grammatically correct although it appears otherwise, the 'are' doesn't refer to the scanner failure, which is an 'is'). I don't know about you but I find this to be overly broad warning. If the paper won't feed into the scanner it may indicate a problem that could result in severe injury or death? Maybe I shouldn't have bought this thing.
Also, the scanner has a little warning label on it, the warning for which reads, this warning label can become very hot. To avoid burns, do not touch this label. Many of the safety warnings regard the use of electricity, something many of us have apparently never done before. Most of these end with "can cause electric shock or fire" and they include handling the scanner with wet hands, leaving it "in a car under scorching heat," using it "while covered with a blanket'," letting your hair, tie or jewelry get caught in it, or using it while driving a car (which I'm pretty sure belongs in the 'severe injury or death' section). There's also the usual stuff about not putting it on the edge of the table because it might fall on you, but I think my favorite one is" When handling documents, be careful not to cut your finger with them." This is always good advice, which applies not only to documents but things like knives, swords, numchuks and chain saws.
The shredder may not require the same detail of instruction because its dangers are perhaps more obvious. Anything they say here, aside from the standard warnings not to put it under water or catch it on fire somehow, have to do with trying to not shred some part of your body. Mostly this means unplugging it before you touch the shreddy bits. My favorite, which is the only repeated instruction, pertains to its awesome CD shredding function. I don't really care for Rihanna, for example, and if I see a CD of hers lying around I might wish to shred it, but, as the instructions note, if I do so I must not hold the CD with finger through the center ring while feeding into the shredder. This is wonderful phrasing, which makes it easy to imagine the consequences of not following that instruction without having to explain them in graphic detail. Many Hollywood directors could learn from this principle. Why one would be shredding even awful CDs like Rihanna's is beyond me however.
I've now had these things for a week, and aside from getting a paper cut (damn, they warned me about that!) I'm still alive and unharmed. I'll let you know if anything more interesting happens or if I decide to shred any CDs.
Friday, April 13, 2012
Expect the unexpected because then it's not unexpected, it's expected.
My youngest daughter is now a junior in high school, so I only have another year or so to attend and savor school concerts. Therefore, it appears to be time for me to extract some overarching observations and perhaps even conclusions about them.
First of all, there is no sound as characteristic of an event as the slightly flat E played by every violin in every piece played in school concerts. It used to drive me crazy, but now I crave it because it makes the experience complete.
Last night's shindig featured vocal and instrumental groups. The performances break down as follows.
First of all, there is no sound as characteristic of an event as the slightly flat E played by every violin in every piece played in school concerts. It used to drive me crazy, but now I crave it because it makes the experience complete.
Last night's shindig featured vocal and instrumental groups. The performances break down as follows.
- Middle school singers can be incredibly cute when doing an upbeat, fun song (a highlight earlier this year was a quickly paced variation on do-re-mi, where the kids all stopped for a moments and called out, "Key change, wheee!") but maybe not so much on a more serious number.
- Performances of unexpected pieces has become so much the norm that it has lost its surprise value. Yes, it's initially amusing to hear "Bohemian Rhapsody" done by a group of flutists, but not all 7 minutes worth.
- Most disappointing, however, was a vocal rendition of the William Tell Overture. I love this piece of music- it's thrilling when done well, but part of what makes it great is how slowly it starts (and you know that part of the piece too, at least if you watch Bugs Bunny). As the slow part draws to an end, the fast, familiar part begins, almost out of the background, adding drama as it builds. It also has all kinds of crazy builds and climaxes. None of this was present. This same group had done a more successful version of the Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy earlier in the year. That piece is much quirkier and lends itself well to the a capella treatment.
Hotel review
Here's my TripAdvisor review of my stay at the Parker Meridien Hotel in New York last week:
I can't comment on the stay before summarizing perhaps the most chaotic and irritating reservation experience I've ever had. My daughter was performing with a choir at Carnegie Hall and the hotel was convenient. I reserved a room for her and my wife in my wife's name for Wednesday night checking out Sunday. I was going to join them on Friday and reserved a second room in my own (different last) name, all with sub-$300 AAA rates- decent for the neighborhood.
That was all fine, until they decided to arrive on Thursday instead. When I tried to change the date on the web site, the price jumped to $800. I decided that was insane and that human beings wouldn't stand for it, so I called the reservation line, where, after several minutes repeating that I did not want to move the whole reservation back a day but shorten it by a day, the agent said she couldn't fix it, put me on hold for about 5 minutes, then came back and told me that the hotel manager had made the change and kept the same rate, and also that she had requested connecting rooms as I'd asked. I thanked her and forgot about it for a while, but for some reason became concerned a few days later. I called the reservation line again and was told the reservation had not been changed and again got put on hold for 5 minutes and again was told it would be taken care of.
I figured things were fine until I got a pre-arrival e-mail still showing the original arrival date and I hit the roof. I called the hotel this time and they said there was a notation in the reservation saying the date should be changed but that nobody had actually made the change. They said not to worry and changed the date.
The next, day, my wife arrived, her reservation was fine, but no accommodation had been made for connecting rooms and that the clerk was insisting that nothing could be done about it. She called me from the front desk and I had to get on the phone with the Stepford Clerk and have her get the manager. Apparently, the notation for connecting rooms had neglected to mention who to connect to. The manager understood that it was unlikely that I had asked for a room connecting to some unknown party and that it was clearly their mistake, and though it was impossible to connect at that point that we could be next door and could check out at 4PM with no charge.
Once we got there the hotel was fine. New York hotels are allowed a certain quirkiness that would not be tolerated in less concentrated environments, and ours is no exception. With the advent of flat screens, the hotel took advantage of the opportunity to wall mount the TVs and eliminate the bulky furniture underneath. This leaves the rooms feeling almost expansive, with generous space between the end of the bed and the opposite wall. It also leaves the room without any place to store one's clothes, if one is inclined to unpack. My room had one small drawer to the right of the desk and a shelf to the left. That's it. But you do get the expansive feel and a wall that really looks like there should be a piece of furniture there, especially because there are no less than 3 sets of electrical outlets that were probably useful when TV was sitting on the dresser.
The beds were fine, there's an odd paucity of glasses and no fluffy robes, and the faucets in the bathroom are set about 1/4 too far back, so if you have the water on low pressure it lands on the counter instead of in the sink. Overall, though, I found it a pleasant, convenient place to stay. It's close to multiple subway lines and has 3 Starbucks, a Dean and Deluca cafe and a well-stocked fancy grocery store all within a block or so. I would certainly stay there again.
I can't comment on the stay before summarizing perhaps the most chaotic and irritating reservation experience I've ever had. My daughter was performing with a choir at Carnegie Hall and the hotel was convenient. I reserved a room for her and my wife in my wife's name for Wednesday night checking out Sunday. I was going to join them on Friday and reserved a second room in my own (different last) name, all with sub-$300 AAA rates- decent for the neighborhood.
That was all fine, until they decided to arrive on Thursday instead. When I tried to change the date on the web site, the price jumped to $800. I decided that was insane and that human beings wouldn't stand for it, so I called the reservation line, where, after several minutes repeating that I did not want to move the whole reservation back a day but shorten it by a day, the agent said she couldn't fix it, put me on hold for about 5 minutes, then came back and told me that the hotel manager had made the change and kept the same rate, and also that she had requested connecting rooms as I'd asked. I thanked her and forgot about it for a while, but for some reason became concerned a few days later. I called the reservation line again and was told the reservation had not been changed and again got put on hold for 5 minutes and again was told it would be taken care of.
I figured things were fine until I got a pre-arrival e-mail still showing the original arrival date and I hit the roof. I called the hotel this time and they said there was a notation in the reservation saying the date should be changed but that nobody had actually made the change. They said not to worry and changed the date.
The next, day, my wife arrived, her reservation was fine, but no accommodation had been made for connecting rooms and that the clerk was insisting that nothing could be done about it. She called me from the front desk and I had to get on the phone with the Stepford Clerk and have her get the manager. Apparently, the notation for connecting rooms had neglected to mention who to connect to. The manager understood that it was unlikely that I had asked for a room connecting to some unknown party and that it was clearly their mistake, and though it was impossible to connect at that point that we could be next door and could check out at 4PM with no charge.
Once we got there the hotel was fine. New York hotels are allowed a certain quirkiness that would not be tolerated in less concentrated environments, and ours is no exception. With the advent of flat screens, the hotel took advantage of the opportunity to wall mount the TVs and eliminate the bulky furniture underneath. This leaves the rooms feeling almost expansive, with generous space between the end of the bed and the opposite wall. It also leaves the room without any place to store one's clothes, if one is inclined to unpack. My room had one small drawer to the right of the desk and a shelf to the left. That's it. But you do get the expansive feel and a wall that really looks like there should be a piece of furniture there, especially because there are no less than 3 sets of electrical outlets that were probably useful when TV was sitting on the dresser.
The beds were fine, there's an odd paucity of glasses and no fluffy robes, and the faucets in the bathroom are set about 1/4 too far back, so if you have the water on low pressure it lands on the counter instead of in the sink. Overall, though, I found it a pleasant, convenient place to stay. It's close to multiple subway lines and has 3 Starbucks, a Dean and Deluca cafe and a well-stocked fancy grocery store all within a block or so. I would certainly stay there again.
Viking Robots in Space!
I'm trying to figure out if my doing Twitter is damaging my blogging. I think blogging is more important because it allows me the time and space to develop ideas, but I'm not sure if fully developed ideas are passé.
What do I do, for instance, with this? I'm scanning through a page of news and see the headline: Viking Robots Discovered Life On Mars in 1976. This is fantastic! Who knew that the Vikings had robots? Or that the Vikings discovered life on Mars? I still find it kind astounding that they "discovered" North America. Or that there are still Vikings around in 1976?
There are two ways I can go with something like that. I can compress it into 140 characters or less and get it out quickly, or I can expand on it like I'm doing here.
So I'm trying to visualize what a Viking robot would look like. I guess it would be kind of hairy, for a robot anyway. Come to think of it, any hair on a robot would be kind of unusual. And the hat! Not only have I never seen a robot with a horned helmet, I've never seen robots with any sort of headware. So in spite of having been around for all these years, robot accessories are still not catching on.
And how did they get those awesome boats up into space? There must have been Viking rockets, or maybe a big slingshot or catapult. Were they disappointed that there was nothing to pillage when they arrived? Or were they searching for their gods? I don't even know if Vikings thought their gods lived in the sky the way we moderns do.
Okay, so maybe it's not the most significant thing I've ever written, but more fun and satisfying than what I could do on Twitter. And, by the way, I do remember when NASA launched the Viking space probes, though I hadn't realized that it was so long ago.
What do I do, for instance, with this? I'm scanning through a page of news and see the headline: Viking Robots Discovered Life On Mars in 1976. This is fantastic! Who knew that the Vikings had robots? Or that the Vikings discovered life on Mars? I still find it kind astounding that they "discovered" North America. Or that there are still Vikings around in 1976?
There are two ways I can go with something like that. I can compress it into 140 characters or less and get it out quickly, or I can expand on it like I'm doing here.
So I'm trying to visualize what a Viking robot would look like. I guess it would be kind of hairy, for a robot anyway. Come to think of it, any hair on a robot would be kind of unusual. And the hat! Not only have I never seen a robot with a horned helmet, I've never seen robots with any sort of headware. So in spite of having been around for all these years, robot accessories are still not catching on.
And how did they get those awesome boats up into space? There must have been Viking rockets, or maybe a big slingshot or catapult. Were they disappointed that there was nothing to pillage when they arrived? Or were they searching for their gods? I don't even know if Vikings thought their gods lived in the sky the way we moderns do.
Okay, so maybe it's not the most significant thing I've ever written, but more fun and satisfying than what I could do on Twitter. And, by the way, I do remember when NASA launched the Viking space probes, though I hadn't realized that it was so long ago.
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Spring of our discontent
It's an odd time for us Phillies fans. The team is injury-depleted and scuffled its way through spring training, never getting much offensive juice. And so far during the regular season, they team is 1-3, has scored once in 2 games, and a total of 6 more runs in the other two. I was at the game on Monday and it just had a weird vibe about it, with the crowd never having the chance to get into the action because there was no action.
All I want to say to everyone getting upset about all of this is, hey folks, chill out. And what I don't mean by that is that everything is going to be okay. I have no idea if everything is going to be okay. It's hard for me to come up with a team that lost its number 3 and 4 hitters and then went on to have a good year. I'm not giving up, but this year may just not work out.
It's an odd time to be a Phillies fan. Last year, aside from its bummer ending, was one long high point, six months of spectacularly good baseball, as good as I've seen in 50 years of following the game. The best record in team history. A gift to the fans. There really was nowhere to go but downhill. And I'm saying this as a fan who wants nothing more than continued success.
But continued success is hard. Notice what a big deal we make out of winning the division 5 straight years? Why is it a big deal? Because it's really really hard to do. Aside from the Braves' amazing 13 year run, the next best in history is 6. And that was done once by the Yankees. So the Phillies are now tied with the Yankees and Oakland A's of the early 70's for the 3rd longest streak of division titles since they first created divisions back in 1969. That's an amazing feat of sustained excellence.
So do I want to see a 6th? You bet. Am I confident it will happen? Not at all. Am I hopeful? Will I continue to go to the park and support them even if this year is disappointing? Will I still be proud to have this team represent this city that I almost but not quite live in? Absolutely. It's baseball. You never know what's going to happen next. And that's why I love it.
All I want to say to everyone getting upset about all of this is, hey folks, chill out. And what I don't mean by that is that everything is going to be okay. I have no idea if everything is going to be okay. It's hard for me to come up with a team that lost its number 3 and 4 hitters and then went on to have a good year. I'm not giving up, but this year may just not work out.
It's an odd time to be a Phillies fan. Last year, aside from its bummer ending, was one long high point, six months of spectacularly good baseball, as good as I've seen in 50 years of following the game. The best record in team history. A gift to the fans. There really was nowhere to go but downhill. And I'm saying this as a fan who wants nothing more than continued success.
But continued success is hard. Notice what a big deal we make out of winning the division 5 straight years? Why is it a big deal? Because it's really really hard to do. Aside from the Braves' amazing 13 year run, the next best in history is 6. And that was done once by the Yankees. So the Phillies are now tied with the Yankees and Oakland A's of the early 70's for the 3rd longest streak of division titles since they first created divisions back in 1969. That's an amazing feat of sustained excellence.
So do I want to see a 6th? You bet. Am I confident it will happen? Not at all. Am I hopeful? Will I continue to go to the park and support them even if this year is disappointing? Will I still be proud to have this team represent this city that I almost but not quite live in? Absolutely. It's baseball. You never know what's going to happen next. And that's why I love it.
Tuesday, April 03, 2012
In my own head
Today I made coffee in the office and then realized that we had no milk. People sometimes seem curious about my internal dialogue, so here's a bit. All of what follows was actually spoken out loud to myself.
(Looking in English Department refrigerator) Hmmm, no milk, there's some salad dressing. It looks a bit like milk but probably not a good idea.
(Science refrigerator) At the old building they sometimes had dead animals in the freezer. This fridge is too small for that. Okay, there's cream cheese, dairy, but too thick. There's somebody else's Starbucks coffee with some milk in it. Would that work? Don't know, but there must be a better option.I did eventually find someone with leftover half and half minis.
Sunday, April 01, 2012
New York Touristic
I was born in Brooklyn and lived in New York until I was 30, so I consider myself a native, but since I'm here for the weekend staying in a hotel, this gives me a perspective with which to evaluate New York as a tourist spot.
First of all, New York is crowded and busy. I'm guessing this is not surprising information, but I'm serious. Try arriving at Penn Station on Friday 6PM and then attempting to get from the south side of the concourse over to the subway. Try to do this quickly and without touching anyone else. Simply not possible. You can do one or the other but not both. It's interesting to me that although I haven't lived here for 25 years, I have not at all lost my ability to navigate crowds. You show me a hoard of people headed for a bank of stairs or a subway entrance and I'll show you the quickest way to get there. My traveling companion, a fit, recent college grad, struggled mightily to keep up with me as we wove through the waiting room, even though I was exhausted and running a fever.
Second, there are a lot of Starbucks here. I know there are a lot of Starbucks everywhere, but again, New York has to one-up everyone else. My hotel is in the middle of the block on 56th Street between 6th and 7th Avenues and there is one Starbucks directly across the street, one on the corner of 56th and 6th and another between 55th and 56th on 7th. While traveling from the 6th to 7th Avenue outposts, you will also pass 4 other coffee shops as well.
That's another thing about New York. Proximity to competition is no impediment. There are coffee shops next to coffee shops, delis next to delis next to other sorts of restaurants, and rows of souvenir shops on the same block. How can this be? See my first point. The streets are too full for a single outlet of anything important to city life to be sufficient. We need superfluity (which may or may not be a word but should be) just to accomodate everyone.
New York hotels are allowed a certain quirkiness that would not be tolerated in less concentrated environments, and ours is no exception. With the advent of flat screens, the hotel took advantage of the opportunity to wall mount the TVs and eliminate the bulky furniture underneath. This leaves the rooms feeling almost expansive, with generous space between the end of the bed and the opposite wall. It also leaves the room without any place to store one's clothes, if one is inclined to unpack. My room had one small drawer to the right of the desk and a shelf to the left. That's it. But you do get the expansive feel and a wall that really looks like there should be a piece of furniture there, especially because there are no less than 3 sets of electrical outlets that were probably useful when TV was sitting on the dresser.
We went to Chinatown for dinner last night. Try to choose a good place in Chinatown using Yelp. I dare you. It is an extremely helpful guide to where to eat at 3AM after a night of heavy drinking. It seemed like every other comment said something of that nature. The place we picked was fine (My favorite review comment: "Service is wham bam thank you ma'am, without the thank you"), but I learned far too much about the interaction of alcohol and fried food and about the health code grades that are posted on the door of every establishment. Don't worry, all of the Starbucks are graded A, which means 7 or fewer code violations on the most recent inspection. Most of Chinatown is graded B or, for the truly brave, C (below C means shut down).
Breakfast this morning was at the famous Carnegie Deli, where a corned beef sandwich costs as much as our dinner for three at The Great NY Noodle House, and is so large that the one time I had lunch there when I was working in the neighborhood, I got 4 full meals out of it. I had salami and eggs, which was yummy, and one of my wife's cheese blintzes (you have to order 3 and each one weighs about half a pound) which was even yummier. It amazing how deep frying improves everything.
Every inch of wall space is covered with autographed 8-by-10 pictures. Within my sight were David Hasselhoff, Bobby Murcer, Billy Joel, Chris Noth, Miss Teen USA 1996 and too many more to remember. Our favorite moment there was when the group of 2 adults and 6 middle school-age kids sitting to our left got their sandwiches, both of the adults sat straight up, agape and unsure how to deal with the massiveness of it all, while the 13 year old boy next to them gave it a quick glance and a squirt of mustard and dug right in without any change in facial expression.
First of all, New York is crowded and busy. I'm guessing this is not surprising information, but I'm serious. Try arriving at Penn Station on Friday 6PM and then attempting to get from the south side of the concourse over to the subway. Try to do this quickly and without touching anyone else. Simply not possible. You can do one or the other but not both. It's interesting to me that although I haven't lived here for 25 years, I have not at all lost my ability to navigate crowds. You show me a hoard of people headed for a bank of stairs or a subway entrance and I'll show you the quickest way to get there. My traveling companion, a fit, recent college grad, struggled mightily to keep up with me as we wove through the waiting room, even though I was exhausted and running a fever.
Second, there are a lot of Starbucks here. I know there are a lot of Starbucks everywhere, but again, New York has to one-up everyone else. My hotel is in the middle of the block on 56th Street between 6th and 7th Avenues and there is one Starbucks directly across the street, one on the corner of 56th and 6th and another between 55th and 56th on 7th. While traveling from the 6th to 7th Avenue outposts, you will also pass 4 other coffee shops as well.
That's another thing about New York. Proximity to competition is no impediment. There are coffee shops next to coffee shops, delis next to delis next to other sorts of restaurants, and rows of souvenir shops on the same block. How can this be? See my first point. The streets are too full for a single outlet of anything important to city life to be sufficient. We need superfluity (which may or may not be a word but should be) just to accomodate everyone.
New York hotels are allowed a certain quirkiness that would not be tolerated in less concentrated environments, and ours is no exception. With the advent of flat screens, the hotel took advantage of the opportunity to wall mount the TVs and eliminate the bulky furniture underneath. This leaves the rooms feeling almost expansive, with generous space between the end of the bed and the opposite wall. It also leaves the room without any place to store one's clothes, if one is inclined to unpack. My room had one small drawer to the right of the desk and a shelf to the left. That's it. But you do get the expansive feel and a wall that really looks like there should be a piece of furniture there, especially because there are no less than 3 sets of electrical outlets that were probably useful when TV was sitting on the dresser.
We went to Chinatown for dinner last night. Try to choose a good place in Chinatown using Yelp. I dare you. It is an extremely helpful guide to where to eat at 3AM after a night of heavy drinking. It seemed like every other comment said something of that nature. The place we picked was fine (My favorite review comment: "Service is wham bam thank you ma'am, without the thank you"), but I learned far too much about the interaction of alcohol and fried food and about the health code grades that are posted on the door of every establishment. Don't worry, all of the Starbucks are graded A, which means 7 or fewer code violations on the most recent inspection. Most of Chinatown is graded B or, for the truly brave, C (below C means shut down).
Breakfast this morning was at the famous Carnegie Deli, where a corned beef sandwich costs as much as our dinner for three at The Great NY Noodle House, and is so large that the one time I had lunch there when I was working in the neighborhood, I got 4 full meals out of it. I had salami and eggs, which was yummy, and one of my wife's cheese blintzes (you have to order 3 and each one weighs about half a pound) which was even yummier. It amazing how deep frying improves everything.
Every inch of wall space is covered with autographed 8-by-10 pictures. Within my sight were David Hasselhoff, Bobby Murcer, Billy Joel, Chris Noth, Miss Teen USA 1996 and too many more to remember. Our favorite moment there was when the group of 2 adults and 6 middle school-age kids sitting to our left got their sandwiches, both of the adults sat straight up, agape and unsure how to deal with the massiveness of it all, while the 13 year old boy next to them gave it a quick glance and a squirt of mustard and dug right in without any change in facial expression.
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Me at Starbucks
I never know if people are entertained or annoyed by my behavior.
Me: May I have this coffee ground for automatic drip?
Starbucks Guy: What kind of filter?
Me: Cone
SG: Paper or permanent?
Me: Waffle
Me: May I have this coffee ground for automatic drip?
Starbucks Guy: What kind of filter?
Me: Cone
SG: Paper or permanent?
Me: Waffle
Monday, March 26, 2012
Easter Egg Punt
Sometimes it's hard to overcome a basic pessimism about the future of American society. I am by nature pretty optimistic, but it's hard to look at societal trends and hold to that spirit. In my usual fashion, I am expounding on this topic based on a news story that I have not read nor have any intention of reading. This one is about the Easter Egg hunt gone awry (and by the way, I've always favored pronouncing that word aw'-ree).
In general, I hate the presence of stories like that in my newspaper, real or virtual. Why do I care about some stupid ritual in Colorado Springs? I don't, but I feel like a big part of what's screwing up this country is parents seeking to cushion every possible blow their kids might receive. I've certainly been guilty of this at times, but I've learned my lesson. Not only can't it be done, it shouldn't be done. If a kid doesn't learn how to cope with the searing psychic pain of not finding an Easter egg, how are they going to be able to cope when something bad actually happens, like if their best friend moves to Des Moines or they get a B on a history term paper.
Parents, of course, have the right to psychologically cripple their kids; it's so difficult to avoid that inflicting some kind of damage is almost a job requirement. But whatever mistakes I've made have at least come as a mistaken conclusion to some thinking process. It's the lack of thought by what seems like a vast segment of Americans that scares the bejeezus out of me (always wanted to use that phrase...).
This is kind of a deep and complicated topic for this blog, and I don't have time to follow through on it right now, but I will in the near future.
In general, I hate the presence of stories like that in my newspaper, real or virtual. Why do I care about some stupid ritual in Colorado Springs? I don't, but I feel like a big part of what's screwing up this country is parents seeking to cushion every possible blow their kids might receive. I've certainly been guilty of this at times, but I've learned my lesson. Not only can't it be done, it shouldn't be done. If a kid doesn't learn how to cope with the searing psychic pain of not finding an Easter egg, how are they going to be able to cope when something bad actually happens, like if their best friend moves to Des Moines or they get a B on a history term paper.
Parents, of course, have the right to psychologically cripple their kids; it's so difficult to avoid that inflicting some kind of damage is almost a job requirement. But whatever mistakes I've made have at least come as a mistaken conclusion to some thinking process. It's the lack of thought by what seems like a vast segment of Americans that scares the bejeezus out of me (always wanted to use that phrase...).
This is kind of a deep and complicated topic for this blog, and I don't have time to follow through on it right now, but I will in the near future.
Day three
This day, I must say, made the whole trip worthwhile. I got
up not to early, had breakfast and checked out of the motel. Since I now seem
to be able to handle long walks, I wanted to find a place where I could be on
the beach for a bit, but didn’t feel like doing the whole same thing again, so
I headed in the other direction and quickly found myself on a bridge to a
little island called Sand Key. I didn’t know anything about Sand Key, but
something led me to believe there would be a beach there. Once over the bridge
I saw a sign pointing to a beach/park, so in I went and found this wide and
almost shockingly underpopulated expanse of sand. I walked its entire length
until I was standing at the edge of the island directly across from the motel.
It was absolutely perfect out- maybe 80 degrees with a
breeze. I couldn’t believe my good fortune being there. After a couple of
minutes, I made my way back down the beach and to the bridge. As I approached
the main part of Clearwater Beach I could see pelicans diving into the bay. By
the time I got close to the end of the bridge I could hear the splash as they
hit the water.
The walk took over an hour, so I got in my car and headed
back to the ballpark. I found the main approach from the south side kind of
unpleasant, so I tried coming from the north this time, and found a remote
parking lot in the woods for half the price of the regular lot. I realized as I
walked out that these woods comprised a disk golf course. I’d never watched
people play disk golf before- it was pretty impressive. I almost got hit with a
stray disk, leading to a conversation with a couple of other parkers about
whether disk golfers said “fore” to alert others. We decided “look out dude!”
was more likely.
Today’s game was again mildly diverting. I never spent a
moment in my seat, but hung out either on the grassy knoll in centerfield or
somewhere in the shade. By this point, although I wasn’t seriously burnt I had
been in the sun for most of the peak hours for the past 2 days. So once the
game was over (it ended in a tie, a charming result that happens only during
spring training), I decided not to return to the beach, but found a Starbucks
to get some work done. Even this was kind of calming, because it meant I
wouldn’t be stressing out about for the rest of the day.
The flight back was uneventful, just the way you like them.
The one oddity is that I bought a salad to eat on the plane for dinner. First
the gate agent, then each of the flight attendants tried to get it away from
me. I’m not sure they’re feeding those people enough.
I was sitting next to two guys who were talking business the
entire flight. After about 20 minutes of office politics and how they were
facing up to their challenges and their incompetent supervisors I had to put
music on LOUD to drown them out.
I’m so glad I don’t do that stuff any more. It sounds so frustrating and
dreary. These people feel like
their problems are unique, but every single thing they said was something I’d heard
(or said) a dozen times before.
Finally got to eat my salad undisturbed and arrived in
Philly right on time. Nice trip.
Day two
Today I really wanted beach time, so as soon as I got up and eat some breakfast and then headed up to the nice part of the island. The sand in Clearwater is absolutely spectacular and it's wonderful just to feel it under my feet.
I lay in the sand until around noon, and then decided I would go see another ball game after all. So off I went to Dunedin.
I was going to see the Atlanta Braves play the Toronto Blue Jays at their stadium in Dunedin, so I put Toronto Blue Jays Dunedin to my phone and followed the directions. Much to my annoyance, unlike every other team in Florida. The Toronto Blue Jays do not have to stadium anywhere near their offices which is where I arrived about 10 minutes before gametime.
Muttering under my breath, I tried another way of finding where the game was and found out I had to go back in the direction I had already come. This displeased me. Didn't help that half the roads were closed and I had to detour everywhere.
Call the parking lot attendants I saw this weekend were really pleasant and chatty. When that guy asked me how I was doing I said I was glad to be here after swinging buy the offices first. He nodded knowingly, and I said "it's especially annoying because I came right by here." He said, I know, I saw you. Cute.
Actually the whole thing was cute. They play in a municipal ballpark with the snappy name of Florida Auto Trader Stadium. It was generically pleasant and had one of my favorite minor league ballpark features, the Rotary Club barbecue. I had some grilled chicken and baked beans, so I was on my way.
At Bright House Field they serve Yuengling for the Philly folks, so here they have Labatts Blue for Canadians. Both parks had a new beer dispensing gimmick where the bottom of the cup has a magnetic seal which opens when inserted in a special apparatus, allowing the cup to be filled for the bottom up. Cool to watch.
While I was lying on the beach I had a suddenly realization about
why I ‘d been feeling so crappy and hadn’t felt like writing anything during the
prior week. I was so busy and stressed out that my mind never had a moment to wander
and free associate. Everybody needs something to keep them centered, and my stream
of consciousness is what keeps me going and makes me feel alive. I have a very active
and chatty inner voice and when I can’t hear it I kind of lose myself. Lying on
the beach, with nothing around except the sun and the sound of the Gulf’s mini-waves,
I could wander. I need to make sure that I take some time for that no matter
what is going on.
I lay in the sand until around noon, and then decided I would go see another ball game after all. So off I went to Dunedin.
I was going to see the Atlanta Braves play the Toronto Blue Jays at their stadium in Dunedin, so I put Toronto Blue Jays Dunedin to my phone and followed the directions. Much to my annoyance, unlike every other team in Florida. The Toronto Blue Jays do not have to stadium anywhere near their offices which is where I arrived about 10 minutes before gametime.
Muttering under my breath, I tried another way of finding where the game was and found out I had to go back in the direction I had already come. This displeased me. Didn't help that half the roads were closed and I had to detour everywhere.
Call the parking lot attendants I saw this weekend were really pleasant and chatty. When that guy asked me how I was doing I said I was glad to be here after swinging buy the offices first. He nodded knowingly, and I said "it's especially annoying because I came right by here." He said, I know, I saw you. Cute.
Actually the whole thing was cute. They play in a municipal ballpark with the snappy name of Florida Auto Trader Stadium. It was generically pleasant and had one of my favorite minor league ballpark features, the Rotary Club barbecue. I had some grilled chicken and baked beans, so I was on my way.
At Bright House Field they serve Yuengling for the Philly folks, so here they have Labatts Blue for Canadians. Both parks had a new beer dispensing gimmick where the bottom of the cup has a magnetic seal which opens when inserted in a special apparatus, allowing the cup to be filled for the bottom up. Cool to watch.
The game itself was mildly diverting, with Toronto absolutely
pummeling the Braves’ rookie pitcher. The most notable thing was that because of
the preponderance of left-handed hitters in both lineups, the right field stands
where I was sitting was getting peppered with baseballs. I nearly got hit when I
had my back turned coming back from the bathroom.
Usually I like to stay until the end of games, but spring training
doesn’t have rael games. They’re glorified practice sessions and the teams typically
start taking their regular players after 6 innings or so. When the Phillies do
that I’m usually interested in seeing the minor league replacements, but here I
could care less, so I left after 7 innings. I cruised back through downtown Dunedin,
which had the main street block off for what seemed to be a junk festival. Kind
of like a two block-long yard sale.
The town was cute and I wouldn’t have minded hanging out, but
it was difficult to get around with all the piles of knick-knacks lining the street.
So I headed back to my room to ready myself for another night of beachness. I decided
to walk this time, taking advantage of how much better my leg has been feeling to
feel the air and see the people milling about. It was incredibly busy, not so much
with spring breakers, but with what seemed like local families. My motel was full
of such weekenders, large groups of
large, loud people.
After about an hour of walking around, I decided to have dinner
and went to the local landmark known as Crabby Bill’s. As I had the night before,
I used my special party-of-one powers to sit at the bar right away while the hoards
of larger parties waited outside. The food was informal and tasty and the bartender
was surprisingly pleasant for a place called crabby. I hung out and watched basketball
for a while and then walked back to my room and eventually went to bed.
Saturday, March 24, 2012
The Florida trip- Day one
Once again, I am off traveling solo. My wife and daughter are on the road looking at colleges and I have a 3 day weekend, so I decided to hop a flight down to Florida and enjoy the sun and a few baseball games. It seemed like a nice relaxing type trip, which I definitely needed.
I happened to be flying first class on the way down, thanks to the general idiocy of airline fares. I made the reservation kind of late, and at that particular moment first class tickets were $170 cheaper than coach, so I wasn't going to argue. The fortuitousness of this selection did not hit me until I got to the airport and saw the security line stretching nearly all the way to the parking garage. Note: this is not an exaggeration; the line went beyond the far end of the moving sidewalk. But the First Class security line was about 15 people.
I've had my issues going through security recently, mostly because on a couple of occasions I had my garage door opener, which seems to set off all kinds of alerts, in my jacket pocket. One time, they ran it through the x-ray 3 times and then went off to manually inspect it.
Then last time I flew they wanted to put me in a glass cylinder and irradiate me. When I refused I was scolded by the TSA agent for saying "I ain't going in that thing." when apparently I'm supposed to say "I request a hand screening." Pardon me for speaking like a human being instead of a robot, or someone just out of TSA training.
The hand screenings are a bit time-consuming but I haven't found them to be particularly unpleasant, especially since they've been patting me down every time I've entered a sporting event lately. At least these guys seem to know what they're doing. My favorite part was he decided that he had to run one of those bomb detecting swabs all around the Ace bandage that I have on my calf these days.
The flight itself was fine, and I got to the Phillies park well before the game. I went to my first spring training in 1976 and it's gotten a lot slicker since then, but it's still nice to see big league ballplayers in small parks when nobody is taking the proceedings too seriously.
From there I went to my hotel, which is laughingly called a Resort. It's not like there's anything wrong with it. The rooms are large and well equipped, but to me a Resort is a place where there's a variety of activities and amenities. Here, they have a pool, but the only activity I can find is doing laundry. It's a motel. There's miniature golf a block away and the beach is across the street, but you have to make your own fun. Then again, as David Mamet notes in State and Main, if you don't make it yourself, it isn't fun, it's entertainment.
In the interest of making some fun, I took the little trolley up to the main beach area and lay on the sand for an hour or so. And then when I got up to head back, I suddenly realized that my wallet was missing.
I completely freaked. At home it would be an irritation, but on the road by yourself with no credit cards and no money? I retraced all my steps in and around the beach but found nothing. As I got back close to the street, trying to figure out what to do, I saw a trolley go by and went running after it, (note to those who have been following the adventures of me and my reluctant right leg,yes, I actually ran). I flagged it down and asked the driver if someone had left a wallet on a trolley and she replied musically, to my ears anyway, "Are you Frank?"
So yes, I'd left it on the trolley and another driver was driving around with it. He was all the way on the other end of the island, so I had to wait a half hour for him to make his way back, but he had it and nothing was missing. Amazing. Completely lucky.
I headed over to Frenchy's Rockaway Grill, my favorite spot around here, and had a grouper sandwich to celebrate my good fortune. Then back to my room for a night's sleep with nothing planned for the morning.
I happened to be flying first class on the way down, thanks to the general idiocy of airline fares. I made the reservation kind of late, and at that particular moment first class tickets were $170 cheaper than coach, so I wasn't going to argue. The fortuitousness of this selection did not hit me until I got to the airport and saw the security line stretching nearly all the way to the parking garage. Note: this is not an exaggeration; the line went beyond the far end of the moving sidewalk. But the First Class security line was about 15 people.
I've had my issues going through security recently, mostly because on a couple of occasions I had my garage door opener, which seems to set off all kinds of alerts, in my jacket pocket. One time, they ran it through the x-ray 3 times and then went off to manually inspect it.
Then last time I flew they wanted to put me in a glass cylinder and irradiate me. When I refused I was scolded by the TSA agent for saying "I ain't going in that thing." when apparently I'm supposed to say "I request a hand screening." Pardon me for speaking like a human being instead of a robot, or someone just out of TSA training.
The hand screenings are a bit time-consuming but I haven't found them to be particularly unpleasant, especially since they've been patting me down every time I've entered a sporting event lately. At least these guys seem to know what they're doing. My favorite part was he decided that he had to run one of those bomb detecting swabs all around the Ace bandage that I have on my calf these days.
The flight itself was fine, and I got to the Phillies park well before the game. I went to my first spring training in 1976 and it's gotten a lot slicker since then, but it's still nice to see big league ballplayers in small parks when nobody is taking the proceedings too seriously.
From there I went to my hotel, which is laughingly called a Resort. It's not like there's anything wrong with it. The rooms are large and well equipped, but to me a Resort is a place where there's a variety of activities and amenities. Here, they have a pool, but the only activity I can find is doing laundry. It's a motel. There's miniature golf a block away and the beach is across the street, but you have to make your own fun. Then again, as David Mamet notes in State and Main, if you don't make it yourself, it isn't fun, it's entertainment.
In the interest of making some fun, I took the little trolley up to the main beach area and lay on the sand for an hour or so. And then when I got up to head back, I suddenly realized that my wallet was missing.
I completely freaked. At home it would be an irritation, but on the road by yourself with no credit cards and no money? I retraced all my steps in and around the beach but found nothing. As I got back close to the street, trying to figure out what to do, I saw a trolley go by and went running after it, (note to those who have been following the adventures of me and my reluctant right leg,yes, I actually ran). I flagged it down and asked the driver if someone had left a wallet on a trolley and she replied musically, to my ears anyway, "Are you Frank?"
So yes, I'd left it on the trolley and another driver was driving around with it. He was all the way on the other end of the island, so I had to wait a half hour for him to make his way back, but he had it and nothing was missing. Amazing. Completely lucky.
I headed over to Frenchy's Rockaway Grill, my favorite spot around here, and had a grouper sandwich to celebrate my good fortune. Then back to my room for a night's sleep with nothing planned for the morning.
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Getting back online
Headed for Florida tomorrow for a weekend of baseball. Will have some time to write while I'm there.
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Just checking in
I know I haven't written anything for a while. I am respecting the privacy of others, and it prevents me from giving any details of what I've been doing.
For myself, I'm fine. I'm even walking pretty much normally. Things are going as well as one might expect and I will be back at work next week.
For myself, I'm fine. I'm even walking pretty much normally. Things are going as well as one might expect and I will be back at work next week.
Sunday, March 11, 2012
Promenade with your partner
The origin of the prom is in an old fashioned promenade, a leisurely stroll around the parlour where you show off your partner to the assembled nobility. I'm not sure if they still do it but when I went to the Kirov Ballet in 1977, between acts everyone would promenade. They had a big long room with no purpose other than for walking around the perimeter (there was a carpet ringing the room), which is what the entire audience did. It was quite charming actually.
Now, of course, proms have taken on an exaggerated importance because people just don't hold balls the way they used to in all those Jane Austen books. Plus, now as part of the Global War on Fun (TM), everything about proms is tightly controlled. Nobody can arrive late or leave early. In some cases the students are detained afterwards for a mandatory group activity until early the next morning. This means that if anyone is intent on getting a buzz or some nookie, they'll need to be very surreptitious and creative. I have no suggestions to make in this regard, but I'm guessing today's youth is up to the challenge.
Tonight we had one of the Junior Pre-Proms for my daughter's school here. As I noted to one of the parents, this was the most kids we'd ever had at the house when we were home and aware that there were kids there (so sorry, no beer pong this time).
The scene was really quite entertaining. There were about a dozen couples and then one or more parent for each of them, armed with one or more cameras apiece. I can't even guess how many pictures were taken all told. I brought out a stool so that the shorter people could see what was going on. And the scene was happily chaotic, so much so that our dog, who's a herder and usually actively involved with whatever is going on, finally gave up and lay down under the dining room table.
Fortunately, there were no mishaps. One girl caught a heel on her dress on the stairs but fortunately just fell onto the half-landing. Nobody spilled anything on themselves or had a hair mishap. Nobody got stuck with a corsage or boutonniere pin. We overbought food but there were enough boys there to use most of it up.
My daughter, who had been fretting about her hair for weeks, got a wonderful up-do that she loved. Her date was a very nice young man with hearty handshake. He's one of those guys who shakes your hand by swinging his arm around and slapping his hand into yours. It's very pre-professional (the girls referred to it as being a CEO handshake). I was just wondering where a kid learns to do that. I couldn't find lessons on Youtube anywhere.
After a half hour of groups forming dissolving and reassembling, they all at once decided it was time to leave, and off they went. I stayed at home to clean up, of which my favorite part was finding empty corsage and boutonniere boxes in every conceivable place. Two were under the couch, one was behind the TV. The rest were stashed on every available horizontal surface. But within an hour the house was back to normal and it was time to go pick them up.
Now, of course, proms have taken on an exaggerated importance because people just don't hold balls the way they used to in all those Jane Austen books. Plus, now as part of the Global War on Fun (TM), everything about proms is tightly controlled. Nobody can arrive late or leave early. In some cases the students are detained afterwards for a mandatory group activity until early the next morning. This means that if anyone is intent on getting a buzz or some nookie, they'll need to be very surreptitious and creative. I have no suggestions to make in this regard, but I'm guessing today's youth is up to the challenge.
Tonight we had one of the Junior Pre-Proms for my daughter's school here. As I noted to one of the parents, this was the most kids we'd ever had at the house when we were home and aware that there were kids there (so sorry, no beer pong this time).
The scene was really quite entertaining. There were about a dozen couples and then one or more parent for each of them, armed with one or more cameras apiece. I can't even guess how many pictures were taken all told. I brought out a stool so that the shorter people could see what was going on. And the scene was happily chaotic, so much so that our dog, who's a herder and usually actively involved with whatever is going on, finally gave up and lay down under the dining room table.
Fortunately, there were no mishaps. One girl caught a heel on her dress on the stairs but fortunately just fell onto the half-landing. Nobody spilled anything on themselves or had a hair mishap. Nobody got stuck with a corsage or boutonniere pin. We overbought food but there were enough boys there to use most of it up.
My daughter, who had been fretting about her hair for weeks, got a wonderful up-do that she loved. Her date was a very nice young man with hearty handshake. He's one of those guys who shakes your hand by swinging his arm around and slapping his hand into yours. It's very pre-professional (the girls referred to it as being a CEO handshake). I was just wondering where a kid learns to do that. I couldn't find lessons on Youtube anywhere.
After a half hour of groups forming dissolving and reassembling, they all at once decided it was time to leave, and off they went. I stayed at home to clean up, of which my favorite part was finding empty corsage and boutonniere boxes in every conceivable place. Two were under the couch, one was behind the TV. The rest were stashed on every available horizontal surface. But within an hour the house was back to normal and it was time to go pick them up.
Friday, March 09, 2012
Getting there
Following up on a discussion I had recently, I would like to present the definitive essay on the Interstate Highway System (IHS). By definitive I mean researched in a thoroughly cursory manner and embellished by amplifications, selective use of data, statistically unsupportable extrapolations and my own opinions. That is what definitive means, right?
Like most important parts of 21st century life, the IHS was developed during my lifetime. I saw numerous pieces of it evolve from plans to concrete. When I moved to Philadelphia, one of the first things I read in the Inquirer was a humorous essay about I-95 in the Sunday Magazine, which is no longer published. It was done in a Q&A format and the first question was simply, "What is I-95?" Answer: "I-95 is a highway that runs from Maine to Girard Avenue and from the Philadelphia Airport to Florida."
The IHS was born in the aftermath of WWII from the mankind's typical instinct to develop strategies to fight the previous war. Then-President Eisenhower, a military guy by trade, decided he needed a system of limited access roads (as in, have entrances and exits rather than intersections with streets) with which we could move troops and equipment by road from, say Los Angeles to Washington DC without stopping at 15,000 traffic lights on the way. Building began in the early 1950s and continues to this day.
Although many parts of the Interstates have names, (the entire system is named after Eisenhower), most are known only by their number. The numbering system was designed to complement the US Highway system, keeping odd numbers going North-South and evens East-West, but reversing the direction of numbering. For example, I-95 is the easternmost interstate and US 1 the easternmost US route. The only oddities in this system are in the middle of the country, where they skip numbers to avoid having, for example, both US Route and Interstate 60 in the same state. We the people are presumed to be unable to distinguish one from the other, yet another way the government restricts our first amendment right to worship the religion of automobile usage.
Also, because the country irregularly shaped, not all the roads go all the way from east to west. I-90, for example, starts in Massachusetts, but when the Great Lakes push the northern border south, it merges with I-80, only to reappear in Chicago and continue to Seattle.
The numbering of the main routes is a model of simplicity compared to the numbering of the connecting routes. In this area, the main connectors are I-476 and I-676. In Pennsylvania, both of these connect I's 76 and 95, but one runs east-west and the other north south. To make things more confusing I-476 also connects 276, 78, 80, 84 and 81. And east-west 676 disappears at the Delaware River and reappears in New Jersey, running north-south and connecting 295 and another piece of 76.
The code for numbering connectors, which is more guidelines than an actual code, are that connectors that intersect interstates at both ends get even numbers and those that don't have odd numbers. This code is violated frequently depending on convenience. New Jersey's version of 676 has no connector on its north end, but I-195, the road to Great Adventure in New Jersey, is more the way it should work.
The IHS was build with either willful ignorance or blatant disregard of the consequences of road building. The first rule is that new roads attract new traffic, and the consequence is that they almost never alleviate traffic problems. The most common mistake is the notion that building interstates to funnel traffic into a city are counterproductive. Roads that connect, for example, northern and southern suburbs to an urban core also allow people to commute from the north to the south as well. Locally, the Schuyllkill Expressway, now I-76, was built solely for the purpose of bringing people from the suburbs into Center City. But it didn't take long for people to figure out that they could also use it to commute from South Jersey to King of Prussia. Hence more traffic than anticipated.
Even more tragic is when the interstate merely passes by a city or town, cutting it off from the traffic and starving it economically. But that's a long, sad, complicated story and not one I care to expound on right now.
Like most important parts of 21st century life, the IHS was developed during my lifetime. I saw numerous pieces of it evolve from plans to concrete. When I moved to Philadelphia, one of the first things I read in the Inquirer was a humorous essay about I-95 in the Sunday Magazine, which is no longer published. It was done in a Q&A format and the first question was simply, "What is I-95?" Answer: "I-95 is a highway that runs from Maine to Girard Avenue and from the Philadelphia Airport to Florida."
The IHS was born in the aftermath of WWII from the mankind's typical instinct to develop strategies to fight the previous war. Then-President Eisenhower, a military guy by trade, decided he needed a system of limited access roads (as in, have entrances and exits rather than intersections with streets) with which we could move troops and equipment by road from, say Los Angeles to Washington DC without stopping at 15,000 traffic lights on the way. Building began in the early 1950s and continues to this day.
Although many parts of the Interstates have names, (the entire system is named after Eisenhower), most are known only by their number. The numbering system was designed to complement the US Highway system, keeping odd numbers going North-South and evens East-West, but reversing the direction of numbering. For example, I-95 is the easternmost interstate and US 1 the easternmost US route. The only oddities in this system are in the middle of the country, where they skip numbers to avoid having, for example, both US Route and Interstate 60 in the same state. We the people are presumed to be unable to distinguish one from the other, yet another way the government restricts our first amendment right to worship the religion of automobile usage.
Also, because the country irregularly shaped, not all the roads go all the way from east to west. I-90, for example, starts in Massachusetts, but when the Great Lakes push the northern border south, it merges with I-80, only to reappear in Chicago and continue to Seattle.
The numbering of the main routes is a model of simplicity compared to the numbering of the connecting routes. In this area, the main connectors are I-476 and I-676. In Pennsylvania, both of these connect I's 76 and 95, but one runs east-west and the other north south. To make things more confusing I-476 also connects 276, 78, 80, 84 and 81. And east-west 676 disappears at the Delaware River and reappears in New Jersey, running north-south and connecting 295 and another piece of 76.
The code for numbering connectors, which is more guidelines than an actual code, are that connectors that intersect interstates at both ends get even numbers and those that don't have odd numbers. This code is violated frequently depending on convenience. New Jersey's version of 676 has no connector on its north end, but I-195, the road to Great Adventure in New Jersey, is more the way it should work.
The IHS was build with either willful ignorance or blatant disregard of the consequences of road building. The first rule is that new roads attract new traffic, and the consequence is that they almost never alleviate traffic problems. The most common mistake is the notion that building interstates to funnel traffic into a city are counterproductive. Roads that connect, for example, northern and southern suburbs to an urban core also allow people to commute from the north to the south as well. Locally, the Schuyllkill Expressway, now I-76, was built solely for the purpose of bringing people from the suburbs into Center City. But it didn't take long for people to figure out that they could also use it to commute from South Jersey to King of Prussia. Hence more traffic than anticipated.
Even more tragic is when the interstate merely passes by a city or town, cutting it off from the traffic and starving it economically. But that's a long, sad, complicated story and not one I care to expound on right now.
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